Innocence
by:AW
Pairing: J/C
Rating: MA
Summary: "I need time chancellor." And what happens when that time isn't enough?
Disclaimer: Paramount/Viacom own the series and the characters that are related to Star Trek: Voyager, but the story is mine.
Length: 30200 words
Date: January 2010
Kathryn stared at the ruler of the Capsan. The man wanted her, ordered her and it was that, or the crew.
The crew’s safety was paramount, and Kathryn couldn’t give up for anything. She stared at the man close to seven feet tall and knew she had no chance with her small stature. She stared at Chakotay and knew he’d never forgive her.
“I need time chancellor.”
The man leered at her. “Two hours your time, you may go with your crew until then and discuss it; but looking at your small stature: I know what your decision will be.”
Kathryn nodded and made her way to the downstairs holding area where her crew stood and waited. She had yet to tell any of them of the decision she was being forced to make; and doing so would kill Chakotay.
She let a silent tear slide down her cheek and opened the door, falling into Chakotay’s protective grasp.
She finally brought her face up and stared into Chakotay’s chocolate orbs. “I…I love you Chakotay.”
Chakotay stared at her unsure of what to say or how to respond. “Kathryn?”
She dragged him to the small room that they had dubbed the ‘washroom’ and ran her hands down his back. “I need you Chakotay.”
Chakotay shook his head, “What about the crew?”
“What about them.” She continued her disrobing and he watched eyes large as his dreams were finally coming true. “Are you sure Kathryn?”
“I’ve never been more sure about anything.”
Chakotay stared at her, looking for her unsure motions, but there was none. He reached under her shirt and slowly drew his hands underneath her breasts and felt their weight in his hands and placed his mouth on hers and took her breath away as he gave her a kiss she would never forget.
He pulled away from her and gave her a smile that he knew she loved and couldn’t resist. He put his dimples out in full force and he watched as her knees went to jelly.
He caught her before she tumbled to the floor and held himself above her waiting for her consent. When she nodded and groaned as his hands touched her hips he knew she was giving herself to him in heart, body and soul.
He slowly brought the straps of her bra down and stared at the woman he had wanted to see in completion forever.
She nodded and he continued stripping away the layers of the Captain to reveal Kathryn.
He removed his pants and slowly entered her tightness feeling the walls grasping his shaft and he felt himself losing his self-consciousness to the moment.
He felt himself getting closer as her muscles convulsed around him; and he felt himself losing control as well.
He screamed her name uncaring of where they were; his dreams had just become a reality.
Five minutes later both of them complete she pulled her shirt over her head and covered her nudeness knowing that as much as it was going to kill her she had to think of the crew.
She put her hand out to his. “I have to go Chakotay. Hopefully he’ll listen to reason and let the crew go.”
He looked at her confused. “I can come and hopefully help you fix this; you don’t have to do this alone.”
She shook her head and Chakotay noticed her tiny fingers fiddling with her combadge and knew she was going to do something he wouldn’t like. “Don’t do this Kathryn.”
Her eyes went wide and then she regained her composure. “Don’t do what?”
“You’re going to drop one of your bombshells and in a situation like this I know I’m not going to like it.”
“I’m the Captain.”
He shook his head. “That’s an old excuse Kathryn.”
She approached him and her lips touched his. “I love you always; remember that.”
She walked out of the bathroom and stared at the crew. She looked at them all looking to her for advice and consolement and she knew on that day she had traded her life for her captaincy and it was at that moment that she felt it deeply and more than she had ever before.
For Kathryn, there was no turning back; for the Captain it was a necessity.
*~*~*~*~*
[Half an hour later – Chancellor’s quarters]
Kathryn pulled herself up to her full height. “All right you win; I’ll stay with you but I need to know that my crew is safe first.”
The chancellor waved his arms and pointed to her combadge. “Contact them and ask him yourself.”
Kathryn hit her combadge and heard the noise telling her she was sending a signal. “Janeway to Chakotay.”
“Chakotay here Captain. It seems that the crew have all been transported to the ship; when should we expect your return?”
Kathryn hesitated. “Make sure you get my crew home Chakotay and never forget the moment we shared today or what I said to you. I meant every word of it.”
Kathryn tapped her combadge and severed the link. “I’m yours chancellor.”
The man nodded and Kathryn knew she had sold herself for the safety of her crew.
[Six weeks later – Voyager]
B’Elanna stared around the people staring at their new Captain. He had been a bear ever since Janeway’s last communiqué.
“Neelix how do our food supplies look?”
Neelix stared at him, “We should have enough saved up for at least another four months.”
Chakotay nodded and then turned to Harry, “Have you made any progress trying to locate the Captain?”
Harry shook his head, “No more than yesterday sir; I’m sorry.”
Chakotay nodded, “B’Elanna, have you made any progress tracking down the signal that was sent back to Voyager?”
“With all due respect ‘Captain’ I, and most of the crew have been trying for almost two months and we haven’t made any progress, maybe it’s time to let her go.”
“I can’t do that B’Elanna; she never let any of us down and I have no intention of letting her down either.” He looked at his senior staff, “Dismissed.”
They slowly walked out of the conference room and B’Elanna stayed behind. “You’re no good to the crew this way Chakotay. She doesn’t want to be found.”
“You don’t know that B’Elanna, you can’t say that for sure; and I won’t give up on her.”
She stared at the torn man before her. “With all due respect Chakotay: You’re the Captain now, and if she was still here she wouldn’t like what you’re doing.”
“And what is that ‘Lieutenant.’”
“You won’t go into the ready room which is yours now; you won’t join the crew for off-duty time and you won’t let her go.” She shook her head and stared at the broken man before her. “You can’t pine over a ghost forever.”
He let a tear escape his strong exterior. “I will never forget what she gave me before she left me, and I’m not sure I can let her go; if that makes me a bad Captain, then so be it.”
B’Elanna shook her head unsure of what had happened between their two former Commanding officers and walked out of the conference room.
[Same Time – Capsan Homeworld]
Kathryn looked around the room where she had made a ‘life’. She shook her head; she had to get out of there.
The Chancellor – she had been forced to call Malin – walked into the room and took her. She had been forced for these six weeks to play his game and perform sexual acts against her wishes and felt she was no longer the same person.
She stared at the date chart – the only way she could really tell the passage of time – and realized in the six weeks she had been there she had not had a monthly cycle.
She threw her head in her hands and cursed her luck and her predicament. She hit the wall, “Damnit, damnit, damnit.” She felt the tears well up behind
her eyes, and realized she was going to give the bastard a child.
“Kathryn, what is wrong?”
Kathryn looked up at him through haunted eyes. “I think I’m pregnant.”
Malin’s eyes lit up. “You are carrying a child?”
Kathryn nodded her acceptance of what was happening. “Is the child you carry mine?”
Kathryn rolled her eyes, “I would assume so since I haven’t been with anyone else in the past six weeks.”
Malin got a sly look on his face. “I was unaware that our species were compatible, but this makes you - as a prize - even better.”
Kathryn felt sick to her stomach and she wasn’t sure for once if it was simply the pregnancy or the thought that this could be this ‘thing’s’ child.
[2 weeks later – Voyager]
Chakotay had had many conversations with B’Elanna over the weeks and she’d convinced him that he had to move on, that he had to let Kathryn go.
And he had continued, he had gone on as a Captain; but no one would ever fill the void she had left that day when they had finally completed each other in a way only a man and a woman who love each other can.
He sighed, it was 0100 hours and finally Chakotay understood why Kathryn didn’t sleep: There was just too much to do as a Captain.
He had made Tom Paris his first officer, and despite everything he had become rather proficient in the role.
He picked up a picture of Kathryn and ran his hands over the picture of her face. *I’m sorry Kathryn, I never wanted more than for the two of us to be together. I wanted to build a life for us, I wanted to marry you and give you children. I wanted to love you; and now we can’t.*
Chakotay awoke from his reverie to the sound of his combadge beeping. “Torres to Chakotay.”
Chakotay drew in a deep breath and answered the hail. “Chakotay here, B’Elanna its 1am.”
“I realize that Captain, but I thought you’d want to know.”
“Know what?”
“I think we found her Captain.”
Chakotay felt his breath catch in his throat. “B’Elanna, where is she?”
“About 35 light-years away.” He heard her pause, “We can probably get to her in about a week.”
Chakotay felt his heart begin to race, “Set a course B’Elanna, we have to get to her.”
[A week later – Malin’s world]
Kathryn walked out of the bathroom; the morning sickness was going to kill her. She wiped her face and plopped down on the couch. She was beginning to show the signs of pregnancy and the farther along she got, the more she wished it was Chakotay’s child and that he was here to help her.
The baby had had minimal scans, but Malin had not wanted her too exposed: She was his prize, and no one else would have her.
Kathryn ran her hands down her front and felt the small bump of her belly. Who would have thought that two species raised so far from each other would be compatible?
She let a tear slide down her face and prayed that everything would be okay.
[Voyager]
“Commander we will be in orbit of the planet in eight minutes.”
Tom looked over at Chakotay and realized that he looked happier - and his face had more color in it - than he had in weeks.
“Well chief, looks like you’re finally gonna get your wish and get the Captain back.”
Chakotay silently nodded, but refused to get his hopes up until she was back in his arms. “Let’s hope Tom, let’s hope.”
Seven minutes later they came into orbit around the planet. “Can you get a lock on her Harry?”
Harry shook his head upset that he couldn’t get the lock right away. “Are you sure it’s her Harry?” Chakotay’s panicked voice rang across the bridge.
“I think so, but I can’t get a lock. The crust of this planet is making it hard.”
“Can you get her position? We’ll take a shuttle down if we have to.”
Harry smiled for the first time in a long time. “I can get coordinates within a two kilometre radius.”
“Good enough, Tom…Harry…you’re with me.”
The boys got up and were about to make their way to the shuttle bay when Tuvok stopped them in their tracks. “Captain, I don’t think it’s appropriate for both you and the Commander to be off the ship at the same time.”
Chakotay shook his head and was about to get mad when he saw the logic in his suggestion. “Okay Tom, Harry, Tuvok… see what you can find.”
Tuvok nodded his approval and they made their way to the shuttle bay and Chakotay headed to the ready room.
[Chancellor’s bedroom - same time]
Kathryn lay back and watched the man coming up on her and all she could do was imagine that it was Chakotay there with her and not Malin – Chakotay: the man she loved and cherished - and even though she knew she wouldn’t see him: the man she hoped she would one day see again.
Malin licked his way up Kathryn’s body and she felt uncomfortable shivers send their way up her spine.
She had thought about it, and it was entirely possible that this was Chakotay’s baby, but by the time she knew for sure…it would be too late.
She sighed as the man she had been forced to make her mate made his way up to her breasts and the roughness sent pain coursing through her, and all she could think was: she was doing this for her daughter or son.
She knew the price of disobedience and she was pretty sure bearing another man’s child would qualify.
She only hoped, despite everything that this was indeed Chakotay’s baby.
[1 kilometre outside Malin’s dwelling]
Tom whispered to Harry, “You’re sure it’s this way?”
Harry rolled his eyes, “I can read a tricorder.”
Tom shrugged, “Just making sure; we have to get her back for Chakotay’s sake.”
Harry nodded, “I know.”
The pair walked along the path, Tuvok in tow. They had to get her back, they all needed her. Tom turned around, “Commander, I think she’s in that house.”
They looked at the large stone house before them. It looked like something out of a 30’s Hollywood thriller. “And she’s been living there for almost three months.”
Tuvok nodded and pointed to where he assumed there would be an opening to the house.
Slowly the trio walked up to the window in the house with Tom in the lead position. He crept up to the window and saw the man, three times Kathryn’s size on top of her; doing something that appeared to be close to raping.
Tom bowed his head and pushed Harry back; he didn’t need to see this. Tom motioned for Tuvok to approach him and whispered, “You think we can get a transporter lock from the shuttle to the building?”
Tuvok nodded his approval and they made their way back to the shuttle.
Upon entering the Delta Flyer, Tom went to the controls and flew the ship up; high enough to be right above the house.
Tuvok discreetly got a lock and transported their captain to the back of the Delta Flyer.
The moment she appeared he pulled a sheet over her and covered her nakedness. Kathryn nodded her thanks and hugged her friend of more than 20 years.
Her façade slowly crumbled and she felt the tears begin to course down her cheeks. “Those were the longest three months of my life Tuvok.”
Tuvok nodded. “Is it Commander Chakotay’s child?”
Kathryn’s jaw dropped open and she stared at him, “How did you know I was pregnant?”
“I am no stranger to the miracle of new life beginning.”
Kathryn was unsure what to say. “I spent almost three months getting raped Tuvok; in all honesty…I don’t know whose baby it is.”
Tuvok nodded. “He will love you no matter what Captain.”
Kathryn nodded, “I know and that’s what scares me.”
Kathryn took the uniform that was offered to her, and realized that she had gained weight in the past three months.
“Tuvok it doesn’t fit anymore. Chakotay will know right away.”
“And he will understand. You were violated against your will Kathryn.”
She shook her head and let the tears fall. “It’s not fair Tuvok. I am so sick of fighting.”
He pulled the blanket over Kathryn and let her sleep. One person should not have had to suffer the way she had, but it had happened and she had faced it with grace; was it possible that this was finally Kathryn Janeway’s breaking point? He didn’t know but he let her fall into a peaceful sleep, probably the first one she had had in three months.
[Voyager – Bridge 30 minutes later]
Chakotay stared at the bridge crew. Harry had a look of sorrow on his face.
Chakotay had been told that they had found Kathryn and that she was back. He had not been told anything about her condition, just that she was in sickbay.
Chakotay sighed, his shift was over in two hours, he was working a double tonight and when he was done he’d drop by sickbay and check on Kathryn.
[2 hours later]
Chakotay handed the bridge over to Delta Shift – he now had eight hours free – and made his way towards sickbay.
He finally got up the nerve to enter the sickbay and what he saw would haunt him until the day he died.
Kathryn was sitting on the biobed, the doctor scanning her belly. When she heard the doors to the sickbay open she turned her head towards him and he saw a black eye and scratches and bruises all around her face.
She bowed her head and turned away from him.
The doctor spun around at the sound of the sickbay doors opening again and realized whoever had walked in had now taken their leave.
Kathryn had tears running down her cheeks. “So what have you found?”
The doctor sighed, “You were correct the child is Malin’s.”
She sniffled, “He’ll never forgive me doctor.”
“Who? Malin?”
She shook her head, “No Chakotay.”
[3 Days later – Janeway Quarters]
Kathryn had finally been released to her quarters. She had been told that Chakotay was going to be in charge or her home care. *That’s all I need.*
Chakotay was going to find out, and despite the fact that she had done it for the crew, she felt as if she had betrayed him.
She flattened her shirt over the soft swell of her belly. Chakotay was going to find out if he didn’t already know.
She let her head fall in her hands. *Oh god, how am I going to deal with this?*
She sat on the couch and picked up a padd. She stared at the crew reports. Then she felt a shot on the ship and everything shook. “Chakotay to all decks – battlestations.”
Kathryn was at a loss. She felt her life falling apart: her place was on the bridge right now, not laid up in her quarters. *I need to get to the bridge.*
She felt another jolt and she instinctively went to the door, when she realized her state of undress.
She went back to the couch and sat down again. It was finally time for her to deal with the baby. She picked up the report and started to read the doctor’s report.
It said the baby was healthy and that her daughter was growing at a much faster rate than was normal for human children. The doctor was guessing she would deliver her daughter in three months.
She sighed, *Great not only am I pregnant against my will, but this child will be here in three months.*
[6 hours later]
Kathryn awoke to the sound of her doors opening. She had fallen asleep reading reports.
Chakotay walked up to her. “Kathryn, I’m sorry I woke you; but I need answers.”
Kathryn looked up at him strangely. “About what?”
“There’s an alien that keeps firing on the ship claiming his name is ‘Malin’ and stating that something was taken that was his and needs to be returned.”
Kathryn felt the tears form below her eyelids as she prepared to look at him and reveal her secret.
“Kathryn, what’s wrong?”
Kathryn sucked in a deep breath and stood up flattening her shirt and showing him exactly what Malin was talking about.
“My god.”
She let the tears begin to fall. “I am so sorry Chakotay, I never meant for it to be like this.”
Chakotay felt his heart breaking and went up to her and pulled her close to him. “Shhh…it will be okay Kathryn.”
She almost laughed, “When I found out I was pregnant; I prayed that it was your child. I thought maybe that would make it easier.”
Chakotay smiled in spite of himself and the situation. “We can always try for another one after this one is born.”
“You can’t mean that Chakotay.”
“If you love someone, sometimes you have to work through the bumps in the road.”
Kathryn nodded. “I know but how are we going to get rid of Malin?”
He stared at her, “You’re on leave, when this is over…I’ll tell you how things went.”
Kathryn nodded and watched Chakotay leave her quarters. Perhaps life would be okay after all.
[2 weeks later – Malin’s Ship]
“I need to get Kathryn back.”
His Commander stared at him, “Every time we’ve tried to attack Voyager, they’ve protected themselves against us. Are you sure that it is possible?”
“That woman is mine. She is carrying my child.”
The Commander looked at him, “Are you sure that the child she carries is yours?”
Malin stared at him, “It’s true that we never were able to check the child’s genetic make-up, but she was not with anyone in the time she was here; and she did not appear to be far enough along for it possibly to be anyone else’s child.”
Commander Kark stared at him, “This is true, but before we expend any more resources we should be sure.”
Malin looked at him, “I want that woman back.”
[Same time – Voyager (Janeway Quarters)]
Kathryn had been surprised at Chakotay’s thoughtfulness. He had taken on the role of this child’s father even though he was aware that the child wasn’t his.
She was getting big with the child she carried and the doctor had told her that it would be no more than a month before she delivered. Kathryn sighed and went to the bathroom. It had become a hazard of the pregnancy. She needed to pee every five minutes.
Chakotay rolled over in the bed and felt for Kathryn. “Kathryn?”
From the bathroom she simply answered, “Sorry the baby is on my bladder.”
Chakotay smiled, “See you in a minute then.”
He had felt his life’s dream becoming a reality. True the child she carried was not his, but she had come to him willingly when she had needed the support from someone during the pregnancy.
He loved her, and maybe some day she would give him a child of his own.
Maybe some day.
Slowly Kathryn padded back over to the bed. “Sorry I woke you.”
He grinned at her, “Don’t worry about it.”
She wondered what she had done to deserve a man like Chakotay. He had taken everything that had happened to her with a grain of salt, insisting that it was not her fault. She had fallen in love with him all over again, the feelings of ‘New Earth’ reawakened. “I love you Chakotay, and thank you for everything that you have done for me, despite the fact that I am damaged goods and the child is not yours.”
“Hey, you’re not damaged goods, and I will treat this child as my own as far as I’m concerned the moment that you let me into your heart, this child became mine.”
Kathryn nodded, even though she did have problems agreeing with it. “You know I loved you even before you took on the responsibility of me and my baby right.”
Chakotay nodded, “I know.” And he brought her back down to the bed. “Now the two of you need some sleep.” He spooned her, hand on the baby and fell back into a much needed sleep.
[Malin’s ship]
Kark stared at Malin. “This has gone far enough. No matter how hard we are trying this Voyager is too powerful for us.”
Malin grunted, “I need that child. If I am correct she will be due to deliver in the next two weeks.”
Kark shook his head, “It is not worth the risk Captain. I have loved and lost, but it is not worth the risk.”
“That child is mine, and therefore the risk is worth taking.” He paused and took a computer terminal out, “I have a plan, and I am willing to risk everything to make it work.”
Malin pulled out his plans and went to Kark, “They use their transporter technology without thinking of what we may be able to do to stop it; what we have to do is rid them of that advantage.”
Kark smiled a sinister smile at his Captain. “If we hit them here,” He pointed at the diagram of the ship, “It will take out their transporters and their backup systems.”
Malin grinned, “My thoughts exactly.”
The pair laughed, and could think of nothing other than making the life of Kathryn Janeway a living hell for taking away a child of the Bastian race.
[Voyager]
Kathryn was looking more and more uncomfortable to Chakotay as the days and weeks went on.
The doctor had told her it could be any day now, but she had refused to go off duty; and so Chakotay kept a close eye on her.
Then the ship got hit, and Kathryn went down; and Chakotay worried as she screamed out.
Chakotay got panicked. “Chakotay to sickbay: Emergency transport for the Captain to sickbay.”
Harry’s voice rang out, “Transporters are down Commander.”
Chakotay shook his head. “What about emergency power?”
Tom piped up, “That appears to be down too Commander. They hit the one place that took out many of our systems. I can’t get anything back up at the moment.”
Chakotay fretted as he watched Tom rush over to where Kathryn had fallen.” He took out a tricorder. “Commander: she’s bleeding internally, and her water has broken.”
Chakotay was at a loss for words as he watched his world falling apart in front of his very eyes. He motioned for Tom to come to him. “You have to save her Tom.”
Tom numbly nodded, “I know.”
[Bastian ship]
“We did it.”
Malin sniled, “That child is as good as mine.”
“What about the woman?
He glared at his Commander, “You actually think she meant something to me? All that matters is my son.”
[Voyager]
Tom was at a loss. He stared at the frail looking woman beside him. “Commander, if we don’t get her to sickbay…she might not make it.”
Chakotay opened and closed his hands into fists in motions of frustration. “There has got to be a way. What if someone crawled down to the shuttlebay and transported her from there to sickbay?”
“Tom you’re a genius. Harry get moving.”
Harry nodded and entered the Jeffries tube. “Tom can you slow down the bleeding and try to keep her with us until Harry gets to the shuttle bay?”
Tom gritted his teeth. “I can try, but I’m not guaranteeing anything at this point.”
Chakotay shook his head, “What about the baby?”
Tom looked at him forlorn. “I’m not sure Chakotay, we can only hope.”
Chakotay sighed and walked up to Kathryn. “You’ll be fine Kat.”
“You’re a lousy liar Chakotay.” She gasped as she drew in a deep breath and bent over in pain. “I can’t do this Chakotay.”
All of a sudden the klaxons began to ring and Chakotay looked around, “Who called a red alert?”
The computer answered. “That command was given from deck ten engineering.”
“What the hell is going on Chakotay?” All of a sudden the Jeffries tube opened and out walked a menacing looking alien that Chakotay recognized as the man who had taken Kathryn from his life once before.
He leered at the scene before him. “Is she in pain?”
Tom stood up to his full height still a good foot shorter than Malin, “What the hell do you think?”
Malin looked despicably at Tom. “How dare you speak to me like that?” He grasped his hand around Tom’s neck. Tom began gasping for air, and the spell was broken as Kathryn let out a pained scream.
Malin approached the woman who was about to bear him a child. “Bring my son to me safe and sound.”
Kathryn glared at him. “It’s not a boy.”
Kathryn screamed out once again and bore down gushing blood and bringing the child’s head into the world.
Tom rubbed his neck trying to get his breathing back to normal and rushed up to the Captain’s side. “Okay Kathryn, almost done. A couple of more pushes and you should be finished.”
She looked to Chakotay, “I can’t do this anymore Chakotay.”
“You’re almost done baby. You’re Captain Janeway if anyone can do it you can.”
Kathryn looked up at Chakotay with tears in her eyes and bore down once more delivering his daughter into his arms.
Tom stared at the couple, “It’s a girl.”
Chakotay stared at the child who finally let out a cry and Chakotay knew it would be okay.
Malin stared at the pink wriggling bundle in the Commander’s arms. He turned to Kathryn. “It was a girl?” He spit at Kathryn and picked the child out of Chakotay’s arms. “Women aren’t even worth a kalip on my world. Half breed girls are worth even less.”
He grabbed the girl by the neck and snapped it. Tom, Chakotay and Kathryn looked in horror as the scene unfolded and that was when Kathryn disappeared in a transporter beam leaving the crushed Chakotay and mournful Tom to stare at the scene before them.
[Shuttle Bay 2]
Harry played with the controls. The Captain had seemed like she was in bad shape. He had to make this work for the crew.
He took a look at the readings and realized the Captain’s vital signs were erratic.
*Get a hold of yourself Harry, you have to make this work.*
He tapped around and couldn’t get the transporter to lock onto the Captain. “Damn it!”
Finally he took a deep breath and crawled under the panel tearing out the chords and bypassing the transporter system. Finally the console beeped. Harry hit the edge of the shuttle’s seat. “Yes!”
[Sickbay]
The doctor felt himself get turned on by an emergency transport. “Please state the nature – Oh god.”
He saw the Captain’s blood soaked half naked body appear. Quickly he rushed over to the biobed and began working on her. She had lost almost half her blood volume; and the child was gone.
[Bridge]
Chakotay watched horrified as Kathryn‘s body disappeared. He turned to Tom, “You okay Tom?”
Tom rubbed his neck once again and nodded. Chakotay stared at Malin and the dead body of his daughter in the man’s hands. “Leave.”
Maline laughed maniacally, “That child, and that woman are meaningless in my society.”
“This isn’t your ship, and this isn’t your society; now leave."
“Are you going to make me little man?”
Chakotay saw red in front of his eyes. “You had no right. You had no right to put her through that and when she’d finally dealt with it you had no right to do that to her child.”
Malin sneered at him, “I had every right; that was my child, and that woman was my property.”
Chakotay stared at the despicable man in front of him. “In OUR culture. People are noone’s property. Now I’m going to ask you one last time: Leave.”
When the man refused to move from the bridge Chakotay approached him. “I said LEAVE!”
Malin laughed at him, and Chakotay’s hand came up impacting him straight in the jaw. “Chakotay to Harry, transport our ‘friend’ back to his ship.”
There was a shimmer of blue and he was gone.
Tom rushed up to Chakotay, “She’ll be okay Chakotay.”
Chakotay had tears running down his cheeks, “They killed our daughter Tom.”
Tom looked sorrowfully at Chakotay. “You two can have more children Chakotay. You were meant to be together.”
Chakotay nodded and staring at Tom, he said. “I have to go and make sure Kathryn’s okay in sickbay.”
Tom nodded, “I’m assuming I have the bridge then.”
Chakotay nodded. “Thanks Tom.”
[Sickbay]
Chakotay had finally gotten Harry to get the transporters back up. He had transported himself to sickbay and seen a rush of wounded.
Kathryn was lying on a bed, it appeared the doctor had managed to clean the blood from her – and although pale – she appeared to be out of the woods.
He walked up to her bed and was about to grab her hand when the doctor approached him. “Chakotay, the Captain is out of the woods for now, and she won’t wake up for another four hours. I need you to look at this; it’s our casualty reports and injury reports.”
He was about to put his thumb print on the padd. When he saw a name on the casualty reports. “Seven didn’t make it?”
“It appears she was too close to the warp core when we were hit by the barrage of shots; according to B’Elanna, she pushed her out of the way and took the brunt of the damage.”
Chakotay shook his head. “So 12 dead and 18 wounded. Did you count Kathryn’s baby in the dead?”
The doctor nodded, “Unfortunately the baby didn’t make it. Before I sedated her Kathryn named the child ‘Sara’. She knew that the baby hadn’t made it, but she didn’t want ‘baby Janeway’ to appear on her death certificate.”
Chakotay nodded, “And B’Elanna how is she?”
The doctor bowed his head, “There was a fracture on multiple numbers of her spinal bones. I don’t anticipate any loss of mobility, but only time will tell and we’ll have to wait until the sedation wares off.”
Chakotay shook his head, “Why did that alien do this?”
The doctor looked forlorn, “Some people just can’t deal with being rejected and being let down.”
Chakotay was livid, “Did he have to kill her daughter though?”
“I guess some species still have outdated views of the world, and no matter what: Some things can’t be changed.”
[4 days later – Chakotay’s Quarters]
“Doctor to Commander Chakotay.”
Chakotay sighed, he had been on the bridge for 14 hours, and he finally got a chance to get out and the doctor contacts him. “Chakotay here.”
“Can you please come down to sickbay and bring Tom too, there are two women here who need watching over for the next few days.”
Chakotay smiled to himself, *Finally, something is going right.*
He knew that meant that they had recovered relatively well and were finally being released.
Chakotay headed towards Tom’s quarters and rang the chime. Tom answered the door looking as if he hasn’t slept in days.
“Hey Tom, good news.”
Tom shook his head, trying to shake the cobwebs out of his head. “Chakotay it’s 0200, both of us just got off bridge duty.”
Chakotay grinned, “Our ladies woke up.”
Tom eyes widened. “Well chief, I guess we’d better get going then.”
[Sickbay - 0400 hours]
Chakotay walked in with Tom in tow. “Doctor.”
Kathryn hopped off the bed and ran into Chaktoay’s arms. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She paused looking unsure, “I never meant for anything to happen to Sara.”
She had tears in her eyes, and Chakotay enveloped her in a hug. “It’s okay Kathryn, I know you never meant for it to happen.” He tilted her head up so she was staring him in the eyes. “We can always try for more children if that’s what you want.”
Kathryn shook her head, “I won’t put you or myself through this again.”
He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. “We’ll get through this baby.”
Tom walked up to B’Elanna’s bed. He stared at her, “How are you?”
B’Elanna gave him a faint smile, “Good enough to beat you if you don’t get me out of here.”
Tom grinned, “Let me just see what the doctor has to say about that; shall we?”
The doctor walked up to the two couples. “You can take those two ladies home. B’Elanna might be a little unsteady on her feet for a little bit, and the Captain IS NOT TO GO ON DUTY FOR ANOTHER TWO WEEKS.”
Kathryn glared at the doctor, “One week?”
“I’m not backing down on this Captain. You need a couple of weeks to recuperate.”
Kathryn took a deep breath. “One week and then half shifts.”
“I’m not budging; Commander, take care of her for a couple of weeks. You are to stay in her quarters.”
Chakotay grinned, “Whatever you say Doctor.”
[Janeway Quarters – 0500 Hours]
Chakotay took Kathryn and led her to the couch where he sat her down. “How are you feeling? Honestly?”
Kathryn gave a small crooked grin, “I’m okay, but I miss Sara.”
Chakotay nodded, “I know. It’s unfair.”
Kathryn let herself go and let the tears fall for the first time since this ordeal had begun. “I’m so sorry Chakotay; I never meant for it to be like this.”
“Shh…I know. Just take the next two weeks to get yourself better and ready for duty.”
Kathryn nodded and put her head onto the back of the couch. “I need a coffee.”
Chakotay nodded and went to the replicator to get her a coffee. “Well one thing about no longer being pregnant is there is no longer a limit on the amount of coffee you can drink.”
Kathryn laughed, “True enough; when are you back on dury?”
“Two hours. Then I’ll be back after an eight hour shift.”
“Sounds good, maybe you should get some sleep though. I’ll make sure you’re awake in an hour.”
“Aren’t you going to come to bed with me?”
She glared at him, “I’ve had enough sleep in the last week to do me for a lifetime.”
“Alright, see you in an hour.”
And Chakotay made his way to the bedroom.
[Paris Quarters – same time]
Tom led B’Elanna over to the couch. “You were lucky B’E.”
She stretched out her legs. “How do you figure?”
“Seven saved your life.”
She let out a giggle, “How is our resident Borg?”
Tom bowed his head, “She died; I’m sorry.”
B’Elanna’s jaw hung open, “She’s dead?”
“I’m sorry.”
She stared at him, “How’s the Captain doing?”
“She’s okay, the baby is dead though. It was a girl, Kathryn named her Sara.”
“How’d she die?”
He paused, unsure of how much he should tell her. “The father killed her, it was the most horrific thing I’ve ever seen: He snapped that baby’s neck.”
B’Elanna cried for the life taken before it was lived. “Did Kat have to watch that?”
Tom nodded and brought B’Elanna in for a hug.”
“The doc did find something in you though, and he’s not sure how she survived your ordeal: You’re pregnant.”
B’Elanna covered her mouth with her hands. “Oh my god.” She placed her hands on her abdomen, “And it’s a girl?”
Tom nodded, “That’s what the doctor says.”
“How about we name her Sara?”
Tom looked at her, “I think it’s perfect.”
[0600 Hours – Janeway Quarters]
Kathryn walked up to where Chakotay was sleeping. She kissed his cheek, and blew air in his ears. She knew he hated that.
Chakotay’s hand came up and rubbed his ear where Kathryn had given it attention. “Hey.”
“Time to get up.”
Chakotay rolled over grunting. “Fine, I’m coming.”
Kathryn grabbed him and tried to pull him out of her bed. “It won’t work Kathryn, I probably weigh twice as much as you.”
“Then get out of bed, it’s time to shower and get to the bridge.”
“Alright, alright, I’m coming.”
She started the shower for him; and went back to the bedroom to make sure he was up.
“I’m up already, I’m just emptying the bladder before I get in the shower.”
Kathryn grinned, “No problem honey.”
Five minutes later, Chakotay got in the shower; a real shower, no sonic shower for him at the moment.
Kathryn walked into the bathroom and disrobed. She slowly moved the curtain and got in behind him. “Hello.”
“Kathryn?”
“No it’s Harry, he broke into my quarters.”
Chakotay laughed, “That’s not funny.”
He turned around and claimed her lips with his. “You know you really shouldn’t be tempting me the doctor said ‘No fun’ for at least a couple of weeks.”
She grinned, “No he said no fun for me.” She got down on her knees and enveloped him fully in her mouth.
He groaned, “Gods Kathryn.” He looked down at her, “Doesn’t that position hurt you?”
She laughed, “I didn’t give birth through my mouth.”
Chakotay felt the build up begin, “Kathryn I can’t hold on much longer.”
She looked up at him and momentarily removed her mouth from his member, “I never said you needed to.” He exploded in her mouth and she took it like a champ.
When he was finished she wiped her mouth off and stood up. “Gods Kathryn, that was amazing.”
“Glad you liked it.”
She finished cleaning herself off and got out of the shower.
[6 weeks later]
“Tom this is it. One kid, I’m not doing the morning sickness thing again.”
Tom tried not to smile at that. “Okay dear.”
Tom watched as B’Elanna finally came out of the washroom. “How do people have more than one of these things?”
Tom did laugh at that. “They say you forget after the baby is born.”
B’Elanna rolled her eyes. “I don’t think I’ll ever forget seeing my meals twice a day.”
“I’m sorry B’Elanna, it’ll get better. You’re almost three months along it’ll be over soon.”
B’Elanna glared at him. “That’s easy for you to say you only see your breakfast once.”
[Janeway Quarters 0900]
Kathryn was so bored. She had the day off and Chakotay had to work. What was she supposed to do?
B’Elanna had been looking a little worse for wear lately, she hoped that she wasn’t sick.
She stared at the crib that was still sitting in the corner of the living quarters. She hasn’t had the heart to dismantle that, but the problem was she didn’t have a baby to live in it.
She had lost her baby, she had lost her daughter, and she had lost her hope for the future.
She sat down on the couch and cried.
After losing that child - despite the fact that Sara had not been planned – Kathryn didn’t feel as if she had ever been the same.
[4 hours later - lunch time]
Chakotay came by Kathryn’s quarters during his lunch hour, he had reserved the holodeck for an hour to have a nice romantic lunch.
He rang her chime and there was no answer. After ringing the chime with no answer, he used his override codes and saw Kathryn laying on the couch…dried tears on her face.
Chakotay walked up to the woman he loved and brushed the hair away from her face. “Hey honey, time to get up; I have a special lunch planned for both of us.”
Kathryn slowly woke up and stared at Chakotay. “I don’t feel like going anywhere Chakotay. I just want to stay here and have some lunch. Maybe we can replicate something nice and a bottle of wine or something.”
Chakotay shook his head. “Kathryn you have to get out of these quarters for something besides going on duty. I just keep seeing you staring at that baby’s crib and crying your eyes out. Maybe it’s time you let go of Sara and got rid of the crib.”
She stood up; she was livid. “That was my child Chakotay.”
“You can’t get her back though Kathryn, and we need to start living our lives again.”
Kathryn got close to him in a fit of rage and slapped him across.the face.
Kathryn saw nothing but red at his disregard for her feelings regarding the child she had lost.
“I don’t care if she’s gone or not; I’m not ready to let go.”
Chakotay realized at this time that there was nothing that could be said to Kathryn. When she got like this she listened to noone.
He walked out of her quarters without saying another word.
[Mess Hall – 20 minutes later]
Chakotay walked into the mess hall and got something to eat. He had walked out on Kathryn when she had gotten unreasonable; he needed to find a way to get her to see that the loss of her baby was not the end of the world.
He was more than willing to give her more children if that was what she wanted, but first she had to let go of Sara.
And that might be harder to accomplish than he thought.
He saw B’Elanna sitting in the corner, and he walked over to her table.
“Hey B’E.”
B’Elanna nodded at him as she tried to keep her lunch down. “Hey Chakotay.”
Chakotay sat down across from her and took in a deep breath. “I need to ask you a favour B’Elanna.”
B’Elanna looked at him inquisitively. “Sure Chakotay, what is it?”
He began the story of how Kathryn was really hurting over the loss of Sara not two months ago.
B’Elanna looked at him sorrow in her eyes. “Chakotay I’m not sure I’m the right person to do that for you right now.”
Chakotay looked at her confused. “Why? You and Kathryn have become great friends over the years.”
She shook her head, “Chakotay: I’m pregnant.”
“She’ll be happy for you B’Elanna.”
B’Elanna stared at him, “It’s a girl Chakotay…and we want to name her Sara after the baby that Kathryn lost.”
Chakotay took in a deep breath, he knew that they were not doing this to try and hurt Kathryn, but that it would.
These two officers were getting what Kathryn had lost.
[2 weeks later]
There was a chime at the door. Chakotay had begged B’Elanna not to tell Kathryn that B’Elanna was pregnant or what they had planned until her condition was blatently obvious.
For the past two weeks Chakotay had spoken Kathryn out of the feelings of sorrow and guilt over the death of baby Sara. Her death was not Kathryn’s fault.
Sara’s death was a tragedy no doubt, but there wasn’t anything that Kathryn could have done about it.
It just happened.
Kathryn went to the door and saw B’Elanna standing there with Tom, the dress that she was wearing showing her condition.
There was no hiding it anymore.
Kathryn’s jaw hung open as she greeted the couple. “Oh my god B’Elanna, look at you.”
B’Elanna blushed under Kathryn’s scrutiny.
“Congratulations!”
Whatever Chakotay had done to Kathryn had definitely put her in a better mood. B’Elanna smiled and looked around the quarters, there was no longer a crib in the corner, there was no longer a changing table in the living room. I guess I just wanted to tell you face to face Kathryn before it became too blatently obvious.”
Kathryn smiled, “Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?”
“The doctor tells me I’m going to have a little girl."
Kathryn invited the couple into the quarters that were decorated for a nice dinner and a talk.
B’Elanna and Tom sat at the table and waited for the talk to begin. They looked at each other. Kathryn looked healthier than she had in a while. She was practically glowing.
Tom’s eyes go wide. “I know that look, you old dog.”
Chakotay stared at Tom, “Sorry?”
“You knocked her up!”
B’Elanna’s eyes got wide. “Tom, what the hell are you doing? You want to get us kicked out of the Captain’s quarters?”
Chakotay bowed his head and stared at them. “No, I didn’t knock her up as you so eloquently put it, we just came to an understanding about what happened to Sara.”
Tom put his arms up in a mock surrender motion. “Sorry.”
Kathryn came out of the back room. She was wearing a dark blue dress that accentuated her eyes and the red in her hair.
“You look great Captain.”
Kathryn gave one of her crooked half smiles, “Thanks Tom, but this is a total social evening you can call me Kathryn.”
Tom blushed, “Give me a little bit of time with that, you’ll always be the Captain to me.”
Kathryn elbowed Chakotay, “Good thing some of my crew respects me.”
Chakotay looked at his woman, “I respect you dear, I just don’t think I need to call you Captain when we’re home in the quarters we share.”
Tom smirked, “That’s not what she said yesterday. She said that she likes when you call her Captain in the bed.”
Kathryn raised an eyebrow. “I’d stop while you’re ahead Ensign.”
Tom bowed his head blushing embarrassed. “Yes ma’am.”
“It’s not crunch time yet Tom, give it eight months.”
Chakotay’s jaw dropped open. “What?!”
Kathryn laughed, “Surprise.”
“Are you serious Kathryn?”
Kathryn glared at him, “No I’m kidding.” Then she stared at him with a *Would I kid about something like that?* look.
B’Elanna broke the tension. “Congratulations Kathryn.”
“Thank you B’Elanna; by the way did Tom react like that when you told him you were pregnant?”
She scrunched her nose up, “Actually for the first time in his life: Tom was speechless.”
The rest of the dinner went off without a hitch.
Three hours later Kathryn and Chakotay lay in bed.
Chakotay turned to look at Kathryn. “So one question. How long have you known?”
“A week, give or take. Officially two days.”
“And you didn’t think to tell me?”
She stared at him, “Yes but the time never seemed right.”
“And it seemed right with the biggest gossip on the ship in the room?”
Kathryn laughed, “It’s not like it’s something we can keep a secret for very long.”
“True.” He reached his hand around and covered her belly. “You two need to get some sleep.”
Kathryn rolled her eyes, “Please tell me you’re not going to get all overprotective on me now?”
“I’d never be so presumptuous dear.”
And the three of them fell into a much needed sleep.
[3 Weeks Later – Bridge]
Kathryn stared at the front viewscreen. Her hand was on her belly that was just beginning to show the signs of pregnancy.
Most of the crew were still unaware of her condition, but she knew and she wasn’t embarrassed or scared of it.
Tom made a joke and Kathryn stared at him. “Oh yeah Tom, that’s the answer.”
The bridge shook and Kathryn stared at the viewscreen. “What the hell was that?”
Kathryn gripped the chair so she wouldn’t fall out of the chair and the bridge shook once again. “Chakotay who’s taking a shot at our shields?”
Chakotay looked at her, “It’s a Bastian ship Captain.”
Kathryn’s eyes widened. “And the other one is Vadwaaur.”
“What?”
There was a blue shimmer of light and Kathryn was gone.
Chakotay shot up out of his seat. “What happened? Where did she go?”
Tuvok looked at him, “She was ‘transported’ to the Vaduuar ship.”
“Get her back!”
Harry piped up from the back. “They went to warp…they’re gone.”
[Vaduuar ship – 3 hours later]
“We saved your species –“
The man backhanded Kathryn; and she felt the blood running down her nose. “A woman will not talk to me like that.”
Kathryn gave a sardonic laugh, “So who did you steal the transporter technology from?”
He glared at her, “That is none of your business.”
“I guess those subspace corridors helped you out more than we thought they would.”
The man hit her face on the other side. Malin walked up from behind, “She gets damaged; she won’t be any good to us.”
Kathryn’s jaw dropped open, “Malin –“
“Nice to see you again Kathryn.” He looked at her belly, “And it seems you found someone else.”
Kathryn spit at the man, “You killed my daughter, you captured me, but they found me and they will again.”
“Only a woman would have such blind faith in their ship coming to get them back.”
Kathryn stared at him, “You have got to be kidding. You killed our daughter, and if anything happens to me or this child: Chakotay will not be so kind.”
“Your first officer?”
Kathryn realized she may have said too much. “Leave him out of this.”
The Vaduaar guard came up to her, “Look at her, defending her man.”
Malin stared at him, “I don’t care who he is; he can’t have her back.”
The Vaduaar looked at him, “We have the option of taking Voyager; and all you're interested in is this woman!”
Malin was seething, “She will help us get Voyager.”
[Voyager]
“B’Elanna, what the hell is going on down there?”
B’Elanna shook her head, “They took out our shields and warp drive Chakotay; it will take me at least three hours to get them back online.”
Chakotay sighed, “Do your best B’Elanna, we need to get the Captain back.”
Chakotay turned to Harry. “Get down to engineering and help her out, Tom you have the bridge. I’ll be in my office.”
[Three hours later]
There was a beep at his door. “Come.”
Tuvok walked in. “The warp is back online sir, and you have to take control if you want to get the Captain back.”
“Remember what it was like when your wife was pregnant? I need to get her back Tuvok, she’s carrying my baby."
“That may be so Commander, but at the moment you are in charge of this ship, and getting the Captain back. Your emotional instability will not help her.”
Chakotay stared at him, he knew he was right, but he couldn’t help but thinking of what they could be doing to Kathryn on that ship.
“I can’t let them have her.”
“I realize that Commander, but you need to get a grip on your emotions and take control of Voyager.”
Chakotay nodded and went to the bridge.
[Vaduuar ship – Same Time]
Kathryn felt the blood rushing from her wrists. She had been tied to a chair, and beaten. “You have no idea what you are getting yourself into. My crew will not let you do this to me.”
Malin glared at her. “Your crew does not even know where you are.”
Kathryn felt her resolve weakening. “They’ll find me.”
“You sound like you’re not as sure of yourself as you once were my dear.” Malin walked up to her and placed a hand on her belly. “Is this baby making you soft?”
She glared at him. “Nothing makes me think of anything but my ship Malin: Nothing.”
“Except maybe the chance of you losing another baby?” He punched her in the stomach and Kathryn gasped as the pain shot through her body.
[Voyager]
Tom stared at his readings. He couldn’t be that lucky. “Chakotay, I think I’ve found the entrance to one of the corridors.”
“Enter it, and scan it. Find her.”
Tom entered the corridor. “Paris to Torres: Can you scan through the subspace turbulence?&rdquo Tom heard a hesitation, “I think I can try to get a lock on their locations…wait: Take the corridor veering to the right.”
“Acknowledged.”
Tom followed the course that B’Elanna had given him and soon he saw the Vaduuar ship ahead of him. “They’ve updated their technology Commander.”
Chakotay nodded and watched the ship looming in the foreground. “Harry can you get a lock?”
“Not yet Commander. I’m not seeing her anywhere.”
“She’s got to be on that ship Harry.”
“I know but I can’t see her on scanners.”
“Keep trying Harry if anyone can do it I know you and B’Elanna can.”
Harry nodded and went back to work.
[Vaduuar Ship]
Kathryn was so tired. She had lost track of all sense of time. After he had hit her in the stomach he had begun taking a knife and making cuts to various parts of her body.
She had lost a lot of blood, she was getting sleepy; she stared up at Malin’s face. “Is this how you treat guests aboard your ship?”
“Only guests who bore me a child who was not what they promised.”
Kathryn stared at him, “I never promised you a boy, and you could have accepted the girl.”
“A girl is meaningless, especially when it’s a half-breed.”
Kathryn stared at him, “How does your species procreate if you kill all the girls?”
He laughed, “Not all the girls, only those coming from improper backgrounds.”
Kathryn got livid, “What do you mean ‘improper backgrounds’? Who are you to choose who gets to live and who gets to die?”
“Who are you to decide that my culture is wrong?”
Kathryn stared at him, “In my opinion and that of my culture, anyone who would do that to any child is wrong.”
The Vaduuar guard came up to Kathryn and strapped chains to her arms and lifted her until her feet no longer touched the ground. “Let’s see how well you sleep in this position Casptain?”
[Voyager]
Chakotay watched as the parts of ships flew past him hoping that none of those ships were the ones that Kathryn had been on.
All of a sudden Harry’s voice rang out. “Commander, I’ve got the ship on long range sensors. We have to change the harmonics of the shields and get out of this corridor. I’m reading one human life-sign, multiple Bastian and Vaduuar lifesigns.”
Chakotay nodded, “Chakotay to Torres: Change those shield harmonics and get us out of this corridor.”
“Yes sir.” Came over the comm.. line and Chakotay finally felt a little bit of hope.
[Vaduuar ship – 3 hours later]
Kathryn awoke, she felt as if she had been hanging for hours. Her shoulders felt like they were coming out of their sockets. She stared at Malin, “You are so fragile.”
She glared at him, “You are the most despicable man I have ever met.”
Malin brushed his hand over her belly, “And how much longer until you give your mate another child?”
She spat in his face, “Long enough for him to get me out of this place.”
Malin growled at her and motioned for the Vaduaar to come over. “Hang weights from her feet, make her really feel it.”
The Vaduaar nodded and Malin left the room.
[Voyager]
Chakotay felt the ship rock and saw out of the viewport: the stars of the Delta Quadrant looming before him. “What’s our location Tom?”
“We travelled 20 thousand light years.” The surprise in Tom’s voice gave him hope.
“After we get Kathryn back we’ll see how far we can go using these corridors. It seems you’re getting fairly good at navigating them.”
Tom smiled, “I told you I was the best pilot you would ever work with.”
Chakotay laughed, “How long until we reach the planet where Kathryn is being held.”
“At high warp, 12 minutes.”
“Thanks Tom.” He turned to tactical, “Try to get a lock on Kathryn and Malin as soon as possible.”
Harry nodded. “No problem Chakotay; I’ll get right on it.”
[Vaduuar ship]
Kathryn felt the pain in her arms, and minor cramps starting in the rest of her body. She prayed her baby was okay and that Chakotay would get to her soon.
Malin walked in, “How are you doing there ‘Captain’?”
“Go to hell.”
Malin shrugged, *Well she hasn’t lost her spunk.*
He felt lightheaded and felt himself being lifted off the ground, and watched as Kathryn disappeared in a blue light.
[Voyager – Sickbay]
Chakotay watched and hoped that he was going to see that hopefully his soon-to-be wife and mother of his child would be okay.
The transporter deposited Kathryn on the bed and Chakotay watched her curl up at the apparent relief of pain.
Her eyes unclouded and she looked at Chakotay as if seeing an angel. “I knew you’d come.”
The doctor came over with a gown and gave it to Chakotay. “Put her in this, I need to examine her and the baby; looks like she had a rough couple of weeks.”
Kathryn glared at the men, “I am here you know.”
Chakotay walked up to her and took her small hand in his own. “You know I love you right Kathryn? And we just want to make sure everything is okay with you and the baby.”
Kathryn nodded,. “I know this coddling is just going to kill me.”
He placed a hand on her belly, “You felt him move yet?”
Kathryn shook her head and placed her hand over his in a gesture of support. “What that man did to me was awful Chakotay; I can barely move my shoulders right now.”
The doctor approached her with a tricorder. “And with good reason, your left one is out of its socket and the right one has torn ligaments.”
Chakotay shook his head, “Why didn’t you say anything before?”
Kathryn shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess the last couple of weeks have been filled with so much abuse that it was just surviving that was good enough.”
Chakotay looked at Kathryn sorrow filling his eyes, “I’m so sorry that this happened to you Kathryn again.”
Kathryn closed her eyes trying to rid her mind of the images of what had happened to her. She turned to the doctor, “Is the baby okay?”
The doctor hummed and hawed, “I need to do a thorough scan before I give you any news officially. I suggest that you get some sleep and Commander if you could leave my patient and let her get some rest it would be greatly appreciated.”
Chakotay nodded and left sickbay. He went to go to the bridge and stopped. “Computer stop turbolift. Deck 11 Brig please.”
Chakotay exited the turbolift and made his way to the brig. He paused before he entered and took a deep breath. “Computer open door 64-Alpha.”
“A Command Level authorization is needed for that action.”
“Authorization Chakotay-lamda-six.”
:”Authorization accepted.”
The doors opened and Chakotay stared at the lieutenant that was standing guard, “Lieutenant you’re dismissed.”
“But Commander –“
“I said dismissed.” The lieutenant bowed his head and left the room.
He stared at Malin, hatred in his eyes. “Stand up.”
When the man didn’t move Chakotay deactivated the forcefield, he grabbed him by the shirt and drew him up. “I said stand up!”
The man stared at him. “I’m a prisoner you wouldn’t hurt me.”
Chakotay gave a sardonic laugh, “Under those same principles, I wouldn’t find a mark on my wife.”
The man stared speechless at Chakotay. “There was a reason for that. She betrayed me.”
Chakotay was incredulous. “You raped her, forced her to give birth to that child created through that act and then you killed that child.” He sucked in a deep breath, “And you’re telling me it was necessary.”
“In my culture it is unacceptable to bow to females.”
“After everything why did you come back?”
The man stared at Chakotay, “I needed to finish my job; I needed to break her.”
Chakotay gave out a deep breath, “You will not break Kathryn Janeway; she’s been through worse than the toiling of a little man.”
“That may be but she still bowed to me and bore my child.”
Chakotay could not believe how blind this man was, “She would die before she ever bowed to you.”
Malin laughed, “She bowed to me because I told her to.”
Chakotay approached the man and hit him in the face. “You only wish she would bow to you.”
Malin laughed again, “So you’re the man who is going to be the father to a child of the once mother of my child. She was better off with me.”
Chakotay sucked in a deep breath, “You’re going to suffer the same way she did.” He took two large chains out and strung the man up by the wrists. “Let’s see how long you last like this.”
Chakotay drew the chains up so the man was hanging two feet above the ground. “Enjoy your hell Malin.”
Malin stared at him as if he has been unsure of whether the man would actually follow through on his threats
When he realized that he would he looked down and swallowed his fate.
[Sickbay – 6 hours later]
Kathryn stared at the EMH, “How did he die?”
The doctor looked at the Captain, “Self-inflicted.”
“How –“
“He strangled himself with the chains by which he was hanging.”
Kathryn stared at the doctor, “What do you mean the chains by which he was hanging?”
The doctor sighed, “According to these scans and the scans we took of the interior of the brig, he was hanging in much the same way as you had been while you were on Malin’s ship.”
Kathryn’s jaw dropped open, “I thought we were beyond this type of barbarism; if we do this we’re no better than Malin himself.”
The doctor set his jaw, “According to our scans and the ship’s logs – the only person who was in there after his capture was the security guard who was on shift and Chakotay: And he was the last person to see Malin alive.”
Kathryn let her head fall into her hands. “He did not do that, I thought Chakotay was beyond those types of acts.”
The doctor took in a deep breath, “But his life, his wife and his future child have never been in danger as they were today.”
[2 weeks later – Voyager]
Chakotay stared at the woman who would be the mother of his child. She was now five months pregnant and showing every minute of it. He walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her belly. “I never meant for it to be this way.”
She shook her head, “Than you should never have taken Malin’s punishment into your own hands.”
He felt the baby kick his hand. “I need my Kathryn back.”
She spun around, “How can I ever trust you again? Look what you did when I was out of commission for a few days and when this baby comes she is going to put me out of commission again!”
He held her shoulders, “Listen to me. He did that to himself –“
“- You were the one who hung him out to dry so to speak. What right did you have to put him through that?”
“What right did he have to put you through that?”
Kathryn laughed sarcastically, “What right does anyone have to punish anyone else? I understand your feelings towards what happened but you have to give him ‘a proper burial’ you gave him much more respect in death than he deserved in life.”
“How can you say that? He was a living, breathing being.”
“Who should not have done to you what he did.”
“And you should not have done to him what you did.”
He sighed, “Maybe but he threatened my wife and my Captain.”
She stepped back at the emotion that he displayed. “I’m not your wife Chakotay.”
“Maybe not yet, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen.”
She smiled at him, he hand rubbing circles on her belly, “Then why don’t you ask?”
He grinned, “Because I wasn’t sure you’d say yes.”
She took his hand and squeezed it placing it on the baby bump, “After everything how could you think I’d say ‘NO’?”
He bent down and kissed her and they both knew that things would be okay.
[1 month later – mess hall]
Chakotay sat across from B’Elanna. “So…how is Sara doing?”
B’Elanna laughed, “As good as a teething baby can be I suppose. How are things going between you and Kathryn? Looking forward to the coming of the bundle of joy?”
“We still have a couple of months to go B’E; but everything seems to be going okay.”
She squeezed Chakotay’s hand, “I’m so glad things are going well for you guys. We were all worried about you two for a while.”
“I know, and was that everyone or just you and Tom?”
She smiled, “Does it really matter?”
“I guess not.”
[Bridge]
Chakotay walked onto the bridge and saw Kathryn leaning against Tom’s chair, stretching her back and pushing her belly out to unfathomable proportions. He smiled, he loved this woman.
Two weeks ago they had been married on a planet named ‘Socar’. They were now officially husband and wife.
He stared at the ring adorning his wife’s finger and smiled. “Captain.”
Kathryn turned towards him, “You’re five minutes late Commander.”
“I apologize Captain, I was stuck speaking with your chief engineer.”
She raised an eyebrow, “We’ll let it go this time.”
Kathryn stood up straight and Chakotay watched her carefully. She took in a quiet intake of breath and her hand went to her back. She turned to Chakotay, “You have the bridge Commander; I’ll be in my ready room.”
Chakotay watched her move to the door to her ready room, and time seemed to go in slow motion as she entered her private sanctum.
He shook his head, something wasn’t right.
“Tuvok, I’m going to go check on the captain.” Tuvok nodded his head and Chakotay made his way to the ready room. He rang the chime and at her answer entered.
She sat on the couch, her breathing was heavy. “Kathryn what’s wrong?”
She shook her head unsure, “I don’t know: Something just doesn’t feel right.”
He walked up to her and got on his knees in front of her. “Kathryn, we have to get you to sickbay.”
Kathryn shook her head, “It’s okay; I’m fine now.”
“Intermittent pain? How often does this happen?”
Kathryn rolled her eyes, “I’m fine Chakotay, it only happens every ten minutes or so.”
“Kathryn, we have to get you to sickbay. I think you’re in premature labour.”
Kathryn shook her head, “It’s too early Chakotay; you worry too much.”
“Only about stubborn Starship Captains.”
“Chakotay really I’m fine!”
She drew in a surprised breath again and Chakotay watched her face scrunch up in pain. “Kathryn we’re going now.”
Kathryn nodded and followed Chakotay out to the bridge. “Commander, we’re going to sickbay; the bridge is still yours.”
Tuvok nodded and watched the Command Couple leave.
They entered the turbolift and Kathryn leaned against the wall. “God Chakotay it hurts.”
He nodded, “I know. I wish you had’ve told me you were feeling this way.”
“What and worry you about me more than you already are? I don’t think so.”
The turbolift stopped on deck 5 and they made their way to sickbay.
The doctor watched them walk through the doors, “ Captain!”
“I’m alright doctor, he’s just –“
Kathryn bent over in pain as her water broke. Chakotay looked horrified as the EMH ran over to her with a tricorder in hand.,
The doctor scanned her from head to toe. “The Captain’s water has broken and she’s four centimeter dilated. This baby is going to born today.”
Kathryn’s frightened eyes looked up at the doctor, “It’s too soon Doctor. I’m only six and a half months pregnant.”
Kathryn screamed as another contraction tore through her. “Worrying is not going to do her much good Commander. Try to keep her calm if you want this baby to arrive safely.” Chakotay nodded and rushed to Kathryn’s side.
“It’ll be okay Kathryn. The baby will be fine.”
“Chakotay, it’s too early, how can you say that with such coffidence..”
“Because I know how you are and I know this child will be fine.”
Kathryn calmed down a bit at his words of encouragement. “I hope you’re right Chakotay, I hope you’re right.”
[Three hours later – Paris Quarters]
“I don’t know what’s wrong. The doctor cancelled my shift in sickbay, Kathryn and Chakotay just walked off the bridge half way through the shift – I’m worried about them.”
B’Elanna approached her husband. “I’m sure they’re just fine, I mean its way too early for anything baby related to happen and –“
“That’s what worries me B’E, it is way too early and –“
Tom heard his combadge beep, “Doctor to Lieutenant Paris; please report to sickbay immediately.”
“Yes doctor.”
He turned to B’Elanna, “Hopefully we’ll get some answers and some good news.”
B’Elanna nodded and watched her husband leave their quarters.
[Sickbay]
Tom walked through the doors and heard the privacy lock engage upon his entrance.
“Doctor, what’s going on? This doesn’t feel right.”
“Captain, the baby is in distress, I need you to push on the next contraction.”
Kathryn nodded and felt a contraction take her over. She bore down with all her strength and felt the baby moving down the birth canal.
The doctor motioned for Tom to join him away from the biobed. “Mr. Paris, this baby needs to come out now. The Captain is getting tired and she needs to get the baby out. When the baby is delivered, he’s going to be very premature: I need you to take care of the Captain while I try to make sure this baby lives.”
Tom nodded and approached the head of the bed where Chakotay was sitting. “She’s doing fine Chakotay, but you need to help her through this. The baby needs to come out now.”
Chakotay nodded and wiped the sweat away from his wife’s face. “You’re doing great Kathryn; our son is going to be here soon.”
Kathryn nodded and strained against another contraction. The computer that was monitoring the baby’s heartbeat sent an alarm and Kathryn felt the tears beginning to form beneath her eyelids. “Chakotay, is he okay?”
“Listen to me Kathryn. You need to push really hard on the next contraction and get our son out.”
Kathryn screamed as she felt the next contraction come on. She pushed trying to free her son from the prison he had lived in for the past six and half months.
Tom approached her and looked her in the eyes. “Don’t scream Kathryn, push.”
Kathryn glared at Tom and put all her strength into freeing her son.
Finally ten minutes later Tom announced, “It’s a boy!”
Chakotay stared at his son, lying down on the foot of the biobed that Kathryn occupied. He was blue, and had yet to utter a noise.
Tom worked on the tears that the baby had left Kathryn with and the Doctor tried to fix the baby, and finally a weak cry came out of the child.
He went over to Kathryn and ran his hand over her cheek. “Did you hear that? Our son is okay.”
Kathryn stared at him with fear in her eyes, “You mean that? He’s really okay?”
The doctor continued to work on the baby boy and put a tube down his throat to ease his breathing, and all of a sudden the child pinked up. “Captain, Commander; you won’t hear any noise from your son now, his airway is being supplemented with a tube.”
Kathryn nodded tears in her eyes, “Is he okay doctor?”
The doctor nodded, “For now, but he has a long road ahead of him.”
Chakotay walked up to Kathryn and embraced her, “It will be okay Kathryn; the doctor will do everything in his power to make sure the baby is okay.”
Kathryn nodded and squeezed Chakotay’s hand in reassurance.
Tom looked at the doctor who nodded his approval at the medic’s work on the Captain. “Nice work Tom, looks like something that I taught you sunk in.”
“Thanks doc I suppose.” He looked at the couple in the corner. “May I go back to my quarters now?”
The doctor nodded, “I suppose you’ve paid your penance, have a good night Tom.”
[Holodeck 2 - Sandrines Program]
Tom stared at the barkeep. “It just isn’t fair Sandrine.” He paused and took another swig of his drink. “They’ve both been through so much and then this happen s.”
“Mon cheri, it’s fine. If this Kathryn is as strong a woman as you say she is, it will all work out.”
Tom nodded and finished his beer, “Well I’d better get home, my woman is probably wondering where I am.”
Sandrine gave Tom’s hand a friendly pat. “You’d better get going if your wife is as good as you say she is.”
Tom smiled, “And better.”
“A la prochaine fois, Tom.”
Tom waved and headed towards his quarters.
He looked at the bar and called, “Computer end program.”
And it disappeared, he just wished some of life’s problems were that easy to extinguish.
He walked out and headed towards the turbo-lift and eventually home.
[0200 hours – Paris Quarters]
B’Elanna heard the doors open and rushed to the living room. “Are you okay?”
He laughed pessimistically, “It’s not me you should be worrying about.”
B’Elanna bowed her head, “How are the Captain and the Commander?”
Tom closed his eyes, trying to keep the tears at bay, “Beautiful baby boy, 1214 this morning.” He wiped his eyes, “Looks just like his father except for the blue eyes of his mother.”
B’Elanna embraced him, “He’ll be okay Tom. Our doctor will do everything he can for that child.”
Tom nodded, “I know B’E, but even modern medicine can’t save everyone.”
[Sickbay – 3 days later]
Kathryn walked up the incubator where her premature baby boy slept. She reached in and put a hand on his chest feeling the rise and fall of his chest; assuring her he was still alive.
The doors to sickbay opened and her husband walked in, “How’s everyone today?”
Kathryn sighed, “He seems to be doing okay, but it’s only been three days. The doctor said he has a long road ahead of him.”
Chakotay nodded, “Have you given any more thoughts to a name?”
Kathryn shook her head.
She turned her ocean blue eyes up to her husband, “I can’t lose another baby Chakotay. I don’t know if I’ll make it through again.”
Chaktoay nodded, “You know what I think we should name him?”
Kathryn shook her head, “Azan Kole Janeway.”
“Azan?”
“It means strength, and I think our baby boy could use all the strength he can get.”
Kathryn looked at him, “I think it’s perfect.”
He kissed the top of her head, and hoped his baby boy and his wife would get through this trial.
Kathryn looked up at her husband, “We’ve hardly left sickbay in three days, what do you say we go to the mess hall and grab something to eat?”
“Sounds great Kathryn, let me just go and check with the doctor first.”
Kathryn nodded and watched her husband leave for the doctor’s office. She put her hand through the small place in the bassinette and touched Azan’s cheek. “We’ll see you soon baby and never forget that mommy and daddy love you very much.”
The baby gurgled in his sleep and Kathryn slowly moved away from her son’s temporary home.
Kathryn left sickbay and went to go to their quarters where she would get ready for her first night out of the sickbay in a few days. She sighed and took a green dress with an empire waist out of her closet.
She turned to Chakotay and stared at him. “What do you think?”
Chakotay kissed her on the top of the head. “I think it’s wonderful. Let’s go to the mess hall and have a nice dinner.”
Kathryn nodded and stared at her husband. “It just feels so weird to be going home without Azan. It feels as if we’re going on with our lives without him.” She felt the tears starting to course down her cheeks.
“Hey, baby… we’re not forgetting him or going on with our lives without him, just taking a break from the monotony of sickbay.”
Kathryn nodded and took Chakotay’s hand. “Let’s go and get some supper.”
Chakotay smiled and drew his wife close.
Chakotay and Kathryn walked towards the mess hall, “I feel so weird about this Chakotay. I just had a Baby but I have yet to really meet him or know him.”
Chakotay raised a hand to her cheek, “He’ll be fine Kathryn; we just have to believe.”
Kathryn nodded but had a foreboding feeling about her son none-the-less. “All we can do is hope Chakotay.”
They made their way to the messhall and had a nice dinner. Quiet, uninterrupted; it seemed the crew did not want to disturb them in their time of possible peril.
[Sickbay]
The doctor looked over Azan’s readings. His lifesigns seemed okay for the moment but there was something that wasn’t right about his biochemistry.
The doctor investigated the genes and discovered something that he hadn’t expected. Something that he couldn’t fix.
The baby was dying.
The doctor shook his head and rubbed a hand over the baby’s down. This was going to kill the ‘Command Couple’.
[Janeway Quarters]
Chakotay stared at his wife. There was something that was bothering her, something that he couldn’t quite put his finger on. “Kathryn what is up with you the past couple of days?”
Kathryn rolled her eyes, “I gave birth to a baby boy; the doctor hasn’t given us any information as to what is truly wrong with him, and I want my child back to live with me.”
Chakotay bent down and kissed her. “Kathryn, he’ll be okay. I love you and I love everything you’ve done for me over the years: I want my wife back.”
Kathryn glared at him, “When I get my life back and my baby back safe and sound, you’ll get your wife back.”
Kathryn walked out of her quarters without saying another word.
She made her way to sickbay and walked up to the incubator where the child lay. “Doctor, will he be okay?”
The doctor looked up at the Captain surprised, “I’m sorry Captain, I didn’t hear you come in.”
The Captain stared at him. “Is my baby going to be okay?”
The doctor hesitated, “I think you should get your husband here.”
“Doctor?”
“Please Captain.”
Kathryn nodded and walked out of sickbay to go and retrieve the father of her child.
[Janeway Quarters]
Kathryn knew the news concerning her son was not good.
She knew that Chakotay was at the moment not too happy with her.
She knew that this was going to be the moment of truth. She had finally let the walls down and finally let someone in.
She finally had the family she had dreamt of her whole life.
And she finally had to hear the truth of the decisions and the actions that were out of her control.
She walked through the doors and walked up to Chakotay, tears in her eyes.
The words did not need to be said, she took his hand and led him out the door towards the sickbay and their destiny.
[20 minutes later – Sick Bay]
Kathryn and Chakotay walked into sickbay hand in hand. The doctor watched them quietly as they made their way over to the bassinette and stared at their little miracle.
Finally the doctor cleared his throat showing that he was there.
Kathryn looked up at him through haunted eyes and led Chakotay to the private office where the doctor gave patients good or bad news.
Even though she hoped the news regarding their child was good in her soul she knew it wasn’t.
The couple walked through the doors to the darkened office and the Captain without thinking ordered lights. Hoping that the brightness of the room would help the outcome of the news.
The doctor stared at them, “Please have a seat, we need to talk.”
The doctor stared into the eyes of the suffering couple, almost feeling their pain or as much as was possible for a hologram. “This all has to do with the virus you suffered from when you were on ‘New Earth’.”
Kathryn shook her head, “But we were cured of that.”
The doctor sighed, “Yes, but the genetic re-sequencing that the Vidiian cure produced made you in all rights incapable of having a normal child.”
Chakotay’s jaw dropped, “But the pregnancy went well, the child was developing normally: There were no problems.”
“It appeared so yes, but after the child was born…there were genetic abnormalities that were apparent that had been produced by the virus itself.”
Chakotay bowed his head. “So we won’t even be able to have children?”
The doctor shook his head. “I’m so sorry Commander.”
Kathryn raised her blue eyes to the doctor, and he noticed that in times of emotional upheaval her eyes took on a bluer, darker shade. “How long?”
The doctor sighed, “No more than three days Captain, I’m so sorry.”
Kathryn drew in a deep breath and turned to her husband. “Well I guess that’s it then.”
“What are you talking about?”
Kathryn drew in a deep breath, “We tried at a normal life but I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.”
She picked herself up and straightened her shoulders, going into Captain’s mode and left the room.
The doctor watched as the commander automatically followed his wife, and he hoped that they could get through this.
[3 days later – sickbay]
The doctor sat in his office as the couple watched Azan draw his last breaths; and the doctor knew if he was human he would be shedding tears for the couple at the moment.
Kathryn wiped the tears from her eyes and walked up to the doctor, “Can you update our suppression boosters now? I’d prefer not to get pregnant by accident again and have to go through something like this once more.”
The doctor nodded and put a hypospray to Kathryn and Chakotay’s necks. “There, that should fix things for now.”
The Captain rubbed her neck, “Thank you doctor, now if you don’t mind I need to get back to my bridge.”
The doctor nodded his head and watched the Captain exit, leaving a little part of herself behind.
[8 months later – sickbay]
The doctor stared at the screen. He had been working on this for close to a year. “Doctor to Lieutenant Torres.”
He heard the groggy voice of the half-Klingon come over the line. “This had better be good doctor: I was up all night with a teething two year old.”
“I need to see you in sickbay immediately. I think that your hybrid genes could be the answer to the Captain’s problem, and give her the baby she wants.”
He heard the Lieutenant draw in a deep breath, “I have to get the baby fed then I’ll be right down.”
The doctor looked at the images of the Captain’s genes spliced with Torres’ and saw the genetic re-sequencing doing its work and fixing the Captain’s issues, but he now needed to try it on the live patients.
If this worked, the Captain and Commander might get their family after all.
Half an hour later, B’Elanna walked into sickbay. “So what do you think I can help you with? I’m an engineer.”
The doctor motioned for her to come over to the screen. “This is a dramatization of what would happen if I spliced your DNA to the Captains. I think it would help solve her problem.”
B’Elanna shook her head, “Have you talked to Kathryn about this?”
“Not yet, I needed to make sure you’d be willing to donate your DNA before I went to the next step.”
B'Elanna looked at the Doctor incredulous, “Of course, I’d do anything for those two, and maybe it would help their marriage. Everyone knows what it’s been like since they lost Azan.”
The doctor nodded, “I was wondering if you would speak to the Commander and sort of introduce this idea to them before I get into the details.”
“Me?” B’Elanna’s eyes opened wide in surprise. “I don’t know anything about genetics or medicine.”
“But your husband does. I’m going to give this padd to you, it has all the information on it and perhaps the two of you can get them comfortable with the idea before I lay it all on them.”
B’Elanna nodded, “Okay, but I won’t push them. They’ve been through enough.” B’Elanna took the information and left sickbay with the doctor just hoping she would be able to get through to the still grieving couple.
[Four days later – Paris Quarters]
“We have to try to get through to her Tom. Chakotay wants a baby so badly.”
“B’Elanna we can’t force anything on her, we can try but it won’t work. She’s so stubborn – that’s why they made her a Captain.”
“But she’s also a woman, and that woman wants to give her husband a baby as badly as he wants her to give him a baby.”
Tom sighed, “I don’t know B’E. I think you should try to get through to her, you’re the one who is going to be making the sacrifice for her; you’re the one who has already gone through the pregnancy and baby. Maybe you should try to convince her that this is something worth taking one more risk for.”
B’Elanna got a stubborn look on her face. “We’ll help them make this work.”
Tom nodded and watched B’Elanna walk out of their quarters.
[Outside Paris Quarters]
B’Elanna walked up and down the halls. She knew what she had to do but she wasn’t sure sometimes about how to approach this woman.
She knew that she would do anything for her crew but sometimes she frustrated people by not just taking that same approach to her own life.
She tapped her commbadge “Computer what is the location of Captain Janeway.”
“Captain Janeway is in the messhall.” B’Elanna stared at the chronometer on the wall; it was 0400 hours what was she doing there at this time?
B’Elanna sighed and made her way to the messhall.
[Messhall]
Kathryn sat at the table and stared at the ultrasound of what would have been her babies. She had memories of both Sara and Azan. She had wanted those children so badly, but it was not meant to be.
And now the doctor told her that the man she loved was not able to give her the child they both wanted because she was defective.
She knew that she was only unable to carry a child because of what the crew had done to save her and Chakotay and bring them back to their family; Voyager, probably the only family they would ever have.
Kathryn felt silent tears running down her cheeks and wiped them away at the sound of the messhall doors opening.
“Captain?”
Kathryn turned away from the door, no one needed to see her like this. “Just a minute.” She stated hoping that this person whoever they were wouldn’t disturb her right away.
B’Elanna walked up behind Kathryn and put a hand on her shoulder staring at the pictures in Kathryn’s hands. “I’m sorry Captain, I shouldn’t have bothered you.”
Kathryn’s hand joined B’Elanna’s squeezing it in comfort. “It’s okay, I shouldn’t have let go of my emotions in such a public place.”
B’Elanna knelt down so she was eye to eye with Kathryn. “We all lose control sometimes, you’re no different.”
Kathryn shook her head, “That’s where you’re wrong: I’m the Captain that makes my life and my wishes forfeit.”
B’Elanna shook her head, “If you truly believed that you wouldn’t have tried for that baby in the first place and you wouldn’t have married Chakotay.”
“I can’t do it anymore B’Elanna, I can’t walk both sides. I have to be the Captain or I have to be Kathryn I can’t be both: It’s just too hard.”
“What if I could make your wishes for the future easier and possible.”
Kathryn sighed and let the tears flow again; “I can’t B’Elanna, I’ll lose myself in the dreams if I try again. I’m the Captain and I just can’t.”
B’Elanna shook her head and went to walk out when she turned back to the Captain, “I always thought you were one of those people who wouldn’t give up no matter what: I guess I was wrong.”
And B’Elanna left the mess hall leaving a distraught Kathryn to mull over her words.
[Paris Quarters]
B’Elanna walked in on Tom just finishing putting Sara to bed. “How is she?”
“She looks like an angel when she sleeps. How did the conversation with the Captain go?”
B’Elanna paused thinking, “Well I don’t think I did much to change her mind about anything. Maybe we’re going about this wrong – maybe we should have a go at convincing Chakotay to convince her.”
Tom glared at her, “If you couldn’t get through to the Captain, what makes you think you’ll be able to make Chakotay see?”
B’Elanna grinned, “Who said anything about me trying to convince him?”
“B’Elanna, he hates me.”
“But you have something he doesn’t, and maybe you can convince him it’s worth fighting for.”
Tom sighed, and nodded.
[2 Days later – Bridge]
Tom heard Kathryn and Chakotay arguing behind him. He couldn’t quite hear what they were arguing about but he heard Harry in the background sigh.
Tom dared to glance and the feuding couple and was rewarded with a Captain’s glare, at which point Tom quickly turned back around.
Kathryn bent down close to Chakotay, “Let’s go finish this discussion in my ready room.”
Chakotay nodded and followed his wife into the ready room.
The ready room closed and no soon had they shut behind the feuding couple, Chakotay stared at his wife. “They’re worried Kathryn.”
Kathryn glared at him and just about spit the words out, “They have no right Chakotay; there’s nothing wrong with me.”
Chakotay’s eyes got hard, “Tom and B’Elanna beg to differ.” And he went to walk out of the ready room; as he did so Kathryn’s voice stopped him in his tracks.
“Commander, they have no right to question me.”
Chakotay scoffed, “Commander huh, so that’s how we’re playing it.” She sighed, “We have to stop this.”
Chakotay stared at her and left the ready room.
[6 hours later – Janeway Quarters]
Kathryn was livid. She stormed into her quarters and kicked off her boots before hurling a padd. at the wall shattering it. “Coffee black.”
The replicator produced the beverage and she plopped down on the couch. She had been told of Tom’s attempts at meddling.
All of a sudden B’Elanna’s visit almost a week ago made more sense. Tom had told Chakotay that with the help of B’Elanna’s DNA it might be possible for them to have a child.
He had used his child to woo her husband into almost begging her to consider it, but Kathryn’s fear had reared its ugly head and Kathryn had refused to even consider it.
She looked around and realized that Chakotay had not come home yet. “Computer locate Commander Chakotay.”
“Commander Chakotay is in holodeck 2.”
Kathryn sighed and rubbed her hands over her face. “Is he alone?”
“No Lieutenant Paris is with him.”
Kathryn drew in a deep breath. She knew exactly what was happening in the holodeck. “Which program is running?”
“Sandrines program is currently running in holodeck 2”
Kathryn gathered her courage and left her quarters to go to the holodeck and confront her husband and chief con officer.
[Holodeck 2]
Chakotay spun around at the sound s of the door opening, and saw his wife walk in.
“Tom, Chakotay.”
Both men nodded and Kathryn picked up a cue and walked towards the pool table. “Well then let’s see how this goes.”
She shot and sank three balls off the break. “Okay Chakotay you’re up.”
He walked up to the table and shot and missed. Kathryn smiled at him smugly and walked up to the pool table. She leaned over it and looked at both men. “You two think you’re so smart. You think that by talking quietly in the corner and getting your wife to talk to me you’ll force me to ‘see the light’ so to speak.” She smashed her cue on the table, “Now if you’ll both excuse me, I need to get some work done.”
She left the holodeck leaving two very surprised men behind her.
[Three hours later – Paris Quarters]
Tom and Chakotay walked into the Paris quarters. Tom turned to look at B’Elanna, “She is so unreasonable sometimes.”
B’Elanna drew her hand back and smacked him in the face, “Do you have any idea how unreasonable you sound at the moment?”
Tom’s mouth dropped open, and he went to speak. She cut him off.
“She gave birth to two babies both of which she wanted badly and now she has neither and all because of a simple genetic deformation that was forced on her by a race of aliens that she tried to kill even though she felt compassion for them.” She glared at him as he went to interrupt her. “The both of you are doing nothing to help her – help her see that she can have something else for her life, something that is better, help her see that there is a possibility.”
Tom stood up, his hand still on his face where B’Elanna’s hand had met it. “Well we’ve done all we think we can do, why don’t you try again.”
Chakotay’s voice was in the background mumbling and B’Elanna couldn’t quite make out what she was saying. “Sorry what was that?
“I said ‘Damned stubborn woman.”
B’Elanna laughed. “That she is but at the moment she needs us to help her see.”
[0400 hours – Janeway Quarters]
Chakotay slowly walked into their quarters and glimpsed Kathryn looking out the window staring at the stars. “I’m sorry Kathryn. I won’t do that again; I won’t try to pressure you.”
Kathryn nodded but refused to say anything.
Chakotay saw her nod and realized that she wasn’t in the mood for talking. “I’m going to bed Kathryn, hopefully I’ll see you later.”
Kathryn nodded again and heard Chakotay walking into the bedroom. Twenty minutes later she joined him and lay down hoping he wouldn’t force her into talking at this moment.
Kathryn turned to look at him. He looked so peaceful. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “It will get better Chakotay, I promise you.”
She turned on her back and fell into a fitful sleep
She knew the two of them had the day off tomorrow and hopefully it would be a good day.
[8 hours later – Janeway Quarters]
Kathryn felt the ship shake and heard the hail from the bridge. “Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay to the bridge please.”
Kathryn shook Chakotay and the two of them got dressed and made their way to the bridge.
The ship was shot six more times before they got to the bridge.
Kathryn saw that Tom had been summoned to the bridge as well. She turned to Tom, “What the hell is going on?”
Tom shook his head, “I don’t know Captain. I just got here about ten seconds before you did.”
Kathryn nodded, “Who are they?”
Tom shook his head, “I don’t know they’re not in our databases.”
“Okay shore the shields, and get a lock on their weapons systems –”
As she was speaking Tom watched in horror as first Janeway then Chakotay disappeared from the bridge. “Get a lock on them Harry!”
Harry looked confused. “I’m trying Tom but they went into warp. Their signatures have been masked.”
“Then find out who they are and what they’re doing.”
Harry continued scanning. Tuvok spoke up, “Ensign, do you have them on scanners?”
“I don’t know Commander, they just disappeared.”
Tuvok nodded his head, “Keep trying Ensign, and Lieutenant,” He turned to Tom, “Help him.”
Tom accepted the order and continued searching for the command team.
[Alien ship – Same time]
Kathryn groaned and turned over grabbing her head. She stared at Chakotay laying about ten feet from her.
She whispered “Chakotay, where are we?”
Chakotay slowly awoke, “I have no idea Kathryn. I saw you disappearing and next thing I knew you were there beside me waking me up.”
“Okay, we have to figure out how to get out of here; wherever we are.”
Chakotay nodded, “We have to be the Captain and Commander until this is over, not Kathryn and Chakotay.”
Kathryn’s eyes were blazing. “You were the one who said you didn’t want us to separate them!”
Under his breath Chakotay spoke, “And look at how well that turned out.”
Kathryn glared at him. “We have to get out of this Chakotay.”
“Chakotay huh? I thought we wanted to keep it Captain and Commander.”
“Chakotay you have no right to throw that back in my face after all you did with Tom and B’Elanna!” Kathryn began letting the tears flow. “I can’t do this Chakotay.”
Chakotay was stunned at the first show of emotion from Kathryn in months. “Come here Kathryn.”
She walked into his arms. “So you are human after all.”
Kathryn laughed, “More human than I’d care to admit most of the time.”
Chakotay’s hands reached up and touched her cheek, feeling the warmth and wiping away the tears.
Kathryn let her lips approach his. “I love you Chakotay. You know that right?”
Chakotay fell into her kiss and her embrace, something that he had not felt in far too long.
He reached his hand under her shirt and felt her breasts.
She moaned as she felt his hands run along her ribcage.
At that moment the lights came on in the room and an alien came into the room.
The command team froze, and Chakotay’s hands quickly evacuated her shirt. Kathryn stood up and straightened her shirt. “What do you want from us?”
The alien laughed, “It’s not us who wants something from you.”
Kathryn’s mouth dropped open as she saw the picture of the man that she had one known intimately but not by choice. “He’s dead.”
The man smiled slyly, “Yes but his wife isn’t – and wasn’t it your ‘husband who killed him?”
“Leave him out of this!”
“Ah, but it is not so easy.” He pushed the woman back into the room where Chakotay sat dumbfounded. “What happened Kathryn?”
She pushed him against the wall and met his lips with hers. Her tiny hand ventured down into his pants as her other hand quickly undid the buckle.
Her ministrations quickly brought his erection to readiness. “I need you Chakotay.”
Chakotay silently removed her shirt and began following her lead as he quickly entered her.
Kathryn felt herself coming to the peak of the orgasm and began to feel her muscles convulse.
It ended and Kathryn blue eyes looked up into his. He looked down at her, “Was that good for you too?”
Kathryn silently nodded and brought him down to her in a kiss full of promise. When the kiss was over her saw her disheveled hair falling in her face. He tucked it behind her ear, “Why did you ever cut your hair?”
Kathryn grinned, “It’s just easier to take care of.”
He grinned, “There’s always a logical reason with Kathryn Janeway isn’t there?”
Kathryn gave him a sultry grin. “There always is.”
Just then the doors opened and the man roughly grabbed Kathryn by the arm. “What are you doing!”
“This way whore.”
And Kathryn was gone: Chakotay staring at the door where his life had disappeared.
[Observation room – Alien ship]
Kathryn glared at the tall alien man. “What am I doing here? Why have you taken me away from my Commander?”
The alien laughed, “You mean your lover?”
Kathryn’s jaw dropped open and she went to answer.
“We saw you two in the other room.”
“How dare you? We thought we were alone.”
The man laughed, “You thought wrong. Essentially you were alone, but we have video surveillance equipment in the room to make sure our prisoners are behaving themselves.”
She glared at him, fire in her eyes. “Well then I hope you got a good show.” She spit at his feet and the man looked at her with anger at which point his hand moved up and slapped her in the face.
She glared at him. “How dare you!?”
The alien laughed, “Because I can.”
[Holding Room – Alien Ship]
Chakotay lay in the dark wondering what was going to happen to Kathryn and to him. He covered his eyes shadowing them from the glare as the door opened. A tall woman came in, she looked like a female version of the Capsan he had seen previously. “What do you want?”
“I want you to come with me.”
She pulled him and attempted to get him to move from his isolation in the room. “Who are you?”
“Surely you just recognize my species.”
Chakotay nodded silently.
“The man you killed; he was my husband.”
Chakotay felt the pieces falling into place. “You’re going to kill me aren’t you?”
The woman smirked, “Nothing so easy my dear Commander.”
He was pulled out of the room and the minute that he was out of the room chains were wrapped around his wrists. “You will suffer the same fate as my husband did at your hands.”
[Voyager – Paris Quarters]
Tom shook his head. “I don’t understand how they could have disappeared that quickly.”
B’Elanna looked at Tom, “I’ve been looking over the logs; I think I can re-work the logs. I got a partial route… but I can’t scan past three light years. I told Tuvok the way, hopefully we can figure out the route from there.”
“We have to find them B’E. We still haven’t figured out who these aliens are; they’re no one we’ve met before.”
B’Elanna walked up to her husband and wrapped her arms around him. “They’ve only been missing for eight hours Tom, we’ll find them before it’s too late.”
Tom nodded, “I hope you’re right B’E, I hope you’re right.”
[Alien ship]
Kathryn stared at the floor. The alien had beaten her, she was sure that he had broken her jaw. There was no sexual battery this time, but the physical pains had been bad.
The door opened and Kathryn raised her head and stared at the alien who had entered the room.
She recognized this species. Her mouth opened, “You’re Capsan.”
The woman sneered. “Very good Captain.” She looked at the bruises, “I hope my guards weren’t too hard on you.”
She laughed, “Well time for the show to begin.”
The woman raised the shield in front of her and she realized that this was a holographic wall that she had been staring at. Her eyes got wide as she realized that it was Chakotay hanging by chains in an empty room. She drew in a sharp intake of breath. “I see you recognize this method of punishment ‘Captain’."
Kathryn’s eyes got hard as she stared at the woman and at the man she loved. “I know that you know this man. He’s your ‘husband’ I believe.”
Kathryn watched as the beautiful man she had loved for years hung by his arms, naked for the world to see.
Everyone seeing what Kathryn herself had seen many times over in the privacy of the moment they had shared.
She felt herself losing her grip on her emotions and all of a sudden she couldn’t believe that moment in time years ago had led to this. “Do you realize what your husband did to me that led to the moment when my husband lost control and all of a sudden the anguish for forever encompassed him?”
The woman stared at Kathryn, refusing to allow herself to understand this woman’s point of view. “Your husband raped me, and forced me to give birth to his bastard child. Two years ago, I gave birth to his daughter which he promptly eliminated.” She paused sucking in a deep breath. “He killed my daughter! And you have the audacity to blame myself and my husband for killing a murderer.”
The woman stared once again, “He was still my husband, despite his flaws.”
She stared at the woman and forced her to look at Chakotay hanging by his wrists, “And that is my husband, despite his flaws: I demand you release him.”
The woman laughed, “You husband despite his flaws still killed my husband in cold-blooded murder.”
Kathryn glared at the woman who sat in a pain that she could only imagine, “Your husband is a cold-blooded murder too; he murdered my daughter!” She screamed, and then she whispered, “And his.”
The tears ran down her cheek for despite her pain, and the parentage: Sara had been hers.
She turned to stare at Chakotay hanging and remembered the pain of what Malin had done to her. She whispered, “Fight it, that’s an order Commander."
[Paris Quarters]
B’Elanna sat it was nearly 0300 hours and Sara had woken up to the sounds of her parents discussing their best friends’ fates. She changed the baby’s diaper and fed her, her bottle. “It’s okay little one, we’ll get your godparents back.”
Tom walked out and saw the beautiful scene before him. “I hope you’re not lying to my daughter B’E.”
B’Elanna laughed, “Those two are too stubborn to die.” She looked at him softly, “We’ll find them B’E.”
[Four hours later – Observation room alien ship]
Kathryn had finally fallen into a sleep when the woman had left her alone. She had not wanted to fall asleep, but rather wanted to stay with her husband. But her body had finally given out.
She woke up and stared at the man she loved as he hung, clinging on to the chains for dear life.
The doors opened and someone went into the room where Chakotay was, he poured water on the naked Commander not letting him drink of the much needed liquid but rather torturing him.
Kathryn knew they couldn’t hear her but she yelled anyway, “Leave him alone!”
Kathryn felt her throat getting horse as she continued streaming at the injustice of what was happening, and she couldn’t help but think that in the end it was all her fault.
Had she not fallen in love and brought him into her life, he would not have felt it necessary to kill Malin to protect his wife.
And he would not be suffering now.
Kathryn broke down and heard the door opening. “Are you enjoying the show?”
Kathryn bit her lower lip in frustration. “I love that man, what do you think?”
“Probably close to the same way I felt when they told me that you had murdered my husband.”
Kathryn had had enough, “We didn’t murder him. He committed suicide.”
“But you forced him into that position.”
Kathryn shook her head unable to voice her opinion or her knowledge any longer. She closed her eyes and bowed her head, forcing good thoughts to enter her mind. “You’ll never break him, just as your husband couldn’t break me.”
The lights dimmed and the woman left to let Kathryn ponder her situation.
[One week later - Voyager Bridge]
Harry motioned to Tom. Tom typed a message, ‘What?’
‘I think I found something. Check out co-ordinates 658.39.’
Tom checked the co-ordinates he had been sent. ‘I’m not an engineer; I don’t see anything.’
Harry sighed, ‘Message B’Elanna and get her up here.
Tom raised a hand to his communicator, “Paris to Torres.”
“Torres here.”
“Can you come to the bridge please.”
He heard the hope in her voice, “On my way Tom.”
[Two weeks later – Alien Ship]
Chakotay had not had anything to eat in two weeks, and the only water he got was what he skimmed off of the water that was thrown down his face.
He stared at his wife who was getting skinner by the day and he worried for her. She had had no weight to lose on small frame.
He felt himself getting weaker by the day and finally passed out, he hoped he would see his wife again in the waking world.
Chakotay’s eyes slowly opened and he looked around at the glade before him. *Am I dead?*
He saw his father approach from behind the oak tree in the clearing. “Not yet son, but you have to hold on: Kathryn needs you.”
“I don’t know how much farther I can go father.”
The old man smiled at him serenely. “You’re almost at the end of the road my son, but you need to hang on for a little longer. Your wife and your daughter need you.”
Chakotay looked at his father confused, “I have no daughter father.”
The older man grinned, “Not yet, but you planted a seed in her not long ago Chakotay and if you hang on you will see the product of your love.”
Chakotay drew in a deep breath, “But father, we’re both on suppression boosters to prevent such accidents.”
Kathryn listened to your pleas and believed in her friends’ advice. Keep a positive mind and you will see your dreams come true.
What did she do?
He laughed, “In anticipation of your reaction and the good news that her friend B’Elanna told her, she cancelled her boosters, and Tatianna will be born because of it.”
Chakotay smiled and felt the dream world disappear.
He raised his head and saw Kathryn sitting in the area before him. He smiled at her, and she gave a crooked reassuring smile.
He knew things would be okay.
[Voyager Bridge – Same Time]
“What was so important that you had to bring me from engineering.”
Harry motioned for her to come over to his station. He showed her what he saw.
She covered her mouth with her hands and then let out a deep breath, “Oh, my god.”
Harry grinned, “I think we found them.”
B’Elanna nodded, “Way to go Starfleet.”
[Alien ship – Observation Room]
Kathryn felt her body feel like it was giving up on her. She drew in a deep breath, *You have to hold on Kathryn, for Chakotay as much as for you.*
Kathryn slowly opened her eyes and stared at Chakotay’s body as she watched his breath go in and out. It was her reassurance that he was still with her.
She watched his breathing as it slowed, and she thought he was falling into a tired sleep. She stared more closely, *No don’t give up Chakotay.*
His breathing stopped and she felt her body go limp as she realized he had finally given in to the pain.
She stared at his body one more time and felt her body go weightless, she thought she was dead, and then all of a sudden she found herself on a biobed in sickbay.
The doctor was over Chakotay’s body, attempting to force life back into him.
[Four hours later – Sickbay]
The doctor stared at the sleeping couple in front of him. He had finally managed to bring Chakotay back to his wife. He sighed and stared at the couple sleeping peacefully for the moment.
Two days before her kidnapping, Kathryn Janeway had gone to the doctor and told him that she wanted to try B’Elanna’s idea.
He had said it was not for sure, and he could not even attempt the genetic infusion before she was off her boosters and had given herself at least a month for her hormones to stabilize.
The Captain had nodded her consent and all seemed to be okay, with Chakotay still on his boosters, the chance of her getting pregnant were still very low.
He remembered her words, “I don’t want to tell him until we’re sure that the Klingon genes hold.” Which would be another three weeks at least.
But today he had scanned her, and discovered that she was almost six weeks pregnant. They had not even spoken of integrating Klingon genes after the pregnancy was accomplished, but there was a first time for everything.
She slept and he didn’t want to wake her. It had been a trying month and a half for them and he needed them to try and replenish their strength.
[3 Days Later – Sickbay]
Kathryn groaned and flipped over to see Chakotay laying on the biobed next to her sleeping soundly.
She let a breath escape her and called for the doctor. He immediately rushed to her bedside. “Captain!”
She smiled, “It’s nice to be home.”
The doctor nodded, “And it’s nice to have the two of you back safe and sound.”
“So he’s okay then?”
“Well it was touch and go for a while, but he seems to be okay now.”
Kathryn drew in another deep breath, “Thank you doctor, having him alive and well means so much to me.”
The doctor rubbed her shoulder, “I know Captain; and thank you again.”
Kathryn grinned and went to stand up losing her balance. She put her hand to her head, “I guess I’m still not up to getting up just yet.”
The doctor smiled at her, “Not yet, but soon.”
[Paris Quarters]
“I heard they finally got up; I heard that Chakotay and Kathryn are both doing fine.”
B’Elanna looked at her husband. “So they’re going to be okay then?”
“As far as I know B’E, but only time will tell.”
[A month later – Bridge]
Kathryn felt like shit. They had been home for two months give or take a week and she felt like crap.
She knew what it felt like, but it had only been once and she hadn’t told Chakotay that she had changed her mind about trying for kids again.
Problem was she had not had a chance to talk to B’Elanna or the doctor yet about the gene splicing.
She had known probably for a week but had yet to scan herself to know for sure. She sighed, she couldn’t lose another baby, she just couldn’t.
She went to their room and picked up the tricorder she kept hidden behind the bed. She closed her eyes and turned the machine on.
She stared at the tricorder as she scanned. She let her head fall in her hands. *10 weeks, I know what that means.*
She sighed. “Janeway to the doctor.”
“Doctor here, what is it Captain.”
“I need to see you some time today Doctor, I think I have a problem.”
She heard the doctor sigh, “Very well, any time that’s good for you is okay for me.”
“Thank you doctor.”
She turned and left her ready room, it was time for her to face the bridge crew. She had only been back on duty for a couple of weeks and she was trying to prove that she was right for being the Captain still.
She walked onto the bridge and stared at Tom, “Lieutenant what is our course?”
“Heading 143 mark 5 speed warp six.”
“Very good lieutenant, keep me informed.” She turned to Harry, “Mr. Kim, where is Commander Chakotay?”
“He went to his office to work on next week’s schedule.”
“Thank you Ensign, that’s where I’ll be if you need me.”
Harry nodded and watched the Captain disappear into the Commander’s safe haven.
[Chakotay’s Office]
Kathryn walked into the office unannounced.
Chakotay looked up from his padd and grinned, “To what do I owe this unexpected visit?”
Kathryn sat down across from him. “We need to talk.”
Chakotay got a confused look on his face, “Okay…what do we NEED to talk about.”
“Before we got abducted, we were at odds over some stuff.”
“You mean having a baby?”
Kathryn nodded tears in her eyes.
Chakotay walked around his desk and knelt down beside her. “Hey I understand how you don’t want to try again: I understand you’re afraid.” He paused and stared into her deep blue eyes, “I should never have pushed you, and I can understand if it never happens. Parenthood is not in the cards for everyone.”
Kathryn let more tears escape.
“Hey Kat, I understand.”
Kathryn shook her head, “No you don’t Chakotay, no you don’t.”
Chakotay stared at her concerned, “Whatever it is Kathryn, you can talk to me.”
Kathryn nodded and opened her mouth to answer him, when she closed her mouth unable to answer.
“Hey Kathryn, talk to me.”
The ship shook and Kathryn immediately left the office and made her way to the bridge, “Report!”
Tom stared at his readings, “We’re under fire. There’s a Borg Cube 300,000 km off the port bow!”
She watched as Tom carefully ducked under the Borg Cube. “You still hear us Kathryn, I know you do.”
Kathryn’s face went white as she heard the siren’s song.
Chakotay walked up to his wife, “Captain?”
“I hear them Chakotay.”
He watched as she mechanically answered his question. “I can hear the collective; they’re calling to me.”
She blindly went and sat down at her station. “I was assimilated, and I took a chance and now they’re still with me.”
B’Elanna walked onto the bridge. “Do you hear them too?”
Kathryn blindly nodded her head. “And it’s getting louder.”
Tom turned around and stared at Chakotay. “Make it stop Commander, we can’t lose them!”
Chakotay shook his head, staring at the cube before them. “Chakotay to Engineering.”
“Vorik here Commander, the Chief isn’t here.”
Chakotay sighed, “I know that Ensign, I need you to help me get rid of that cube and save the Captain and the Chief Engineer.”
He heard a hesitation over the line and then all of a sudden he heard the answer. “There’s a subspace corridor 400 km off the aft of the ship, enter it and we should be able to escape the cube.”
He nodded to Tom, “Do it.”
They entered the corridor, and before anyone knew it they were on their way. “Tom where is this corridor headed?”
Tom stared at his controls, “I’m not sure Commander, but I know we’re headed on our way towards the Alpaha Quadrant.”
[Three hours later]
The doctor had finally gotten back online and had made his way immediately to the bridge. “What’s going on Commander?”
“They just started to hear the Borg Collective. They began just chanting and then they huddled in the corner as if getting strength from each other.”
The doctor sighed, “I’ll make sure they’re okay Commander.”
“I thought that you removed all of their implants doctor. I thought you got rid of them forever.”
“There are certain implants that I cannot remove. They have become intertwined in their bodies.”
“That’s not good enough Doctor!”
He stared at the crippled man before him, “It’ll have to be. I’ll make sure Kathryn and the baby are okay.”
Chakotay’s jaw dropped open and it was then that the doctor understood that she had not yet had a chance to tell her husband. “I’m sorry commander; I’ll contact you when I have them stabilized.”
The doctor walked out and Chakotay stood speechless.
Tom turned to Chakotay, “Commander did I just hear what I think I heard?”
“Stow it Tom, I’m not in the mood. What are our co-ordinates?”
Tom sighed and stared at his readings. “The exit up ahead should take us almost directly to the Rings of Saturn.”
Chakotay smiled, “You did it Kathryn, you got your crew home.”
[3 hours later]
Chakotay had forced Voyager to almost crawl back to earth; but here they were. He heard a hail. “Starfleet Command to Starship Voyager.”
Chakotay drew in a deep breath, “This is the Starship Voyager. It’s nice to be home.”
“This is admiral Hayes, who am I speaking with?”
“This is Commander Chakotay, it’s nice to be home.”
“Where is Captain Janeway?”
Chakotay closed his eyes, gathering his thoughts. “She’s in sickbay recovering. I am ready to send you the crew reports, and all the casualties that have come over the past seven years.”
“Thank you Commander, please keep all the crew onboard and we will be contacting you shortly.”
“Chakotay out.”
Chakotay sighed and went about collecting the reports that he was preparing to send to Starfleet Command.
This could possibly end the best years of his life.
He just hoped he wasn’t going to lose Kathryn over this.
Tom stared at Chakotay, “It’ll be okay chief, things that are meant to be are meant to be…and I assure that you and Kathryn are meant to be.”
Chakotay sighed, “I hope so Tom I hope so.”
[Four days later – Starfleet Command]
Kathryn stood beside Chakotay, waiting for the verdict that would change their lives.
Finally the judge stood up. “It is our ruling that you, Commander Chakotay formerly of the Maquis is required to spend six months in the penal colony in New Zealand. That along with the time served on Voyager, will be considered time served.
Kathryn collapsed as the verdict was given. “You are the ultimate one responsible for the crimes of your crew, so the punishment will not be exacted upon them.”
The judge swung the gavel, hitting the stone and sealing the ‘Command Couples’ fate.
The EMH ran up to Kathryn, and felt for a pulse. “It’s just shock Commander, she’ll be okay.”
Chakotay nodded and put his hands behind his back waiting for them to cuff him and his life as a prisoner to begin.
[2 weeks later – Paris Home]
Kathryn rang the doorbell, and waited for her former chief engineer and pilot to answer the door.
B’Elanna finally answered the door with little Sara Paris in her arms.
“Kathryn! We didn’t expect to see you…you didn’t message us.”
Kathryn drew in a deep breath, “He went to prison for all of you, you know.”
B’Elanna stared at her, “This wasn’t our choice Kathryn.”
She shook her head, “No but whether I want to or not, I blame you; and I’m sorry.”
She turned around and walked away.
“Why did you let her go B’E?”
“She needs to deal with this before she deals with us Tom.”
He stared at her, “Her baby will die without you.”
B’Elanna shook her head, “I know and I hope she realizes that before it’s too late.”
[2 Days later – Janeway home]
Kathryn walked up to the door of her mother’s house. In the letters home over the years she had refused to tell her mother, or her sister of Chakotay.
Of the babies who had died, or of the rape by Malin.
She looked down at her belly that was just beginning to show the signs of pregnancy; or of her current predicament.
Her hand slowly got up the nerve to knock on the door.
She counted the seconds, exactly 11 seconds later the door opened.
Her mother stared at her. “Katie, I was just waiting to hear from you!”
Kathryn accepted the hug and felt tears welling up in her eyes. “Hi mom, I’m so happy to be home.”
Her mother smiled, “And we’re glad to have you back. Phoebe is here, come in and say hi.”
She hugged her again and felt something moving next to her. “Are you hungry Katie?”
Kathryn shook her head and grabbed her mother’s hand rubbing it over her abdomen.
Her mother squealed, “God Katie; you’re going to be a mother!”
Kathryn let the tears fall freely and nodded.
Her mother let her hands creep up and wipe the tears away. “What’s wrong Kathryn? Motherhood is a time of joy! Something that I never thought I’d see from you.”
Kathryn nodded and slowly opened her mouth. “Mom, this isn’t my first pregnancy.”
Gretchen’s mouth flew open. “You mean I have other grandchildren.”
Kathryn’s mouth closed into a tight line and shook her head. “No, they died.”
“They? How many have you lost? Who was the father? How did it happen –”
Kathryn shook her head unsure of her future, “Two: one boy; one girl, hopefully not a third.” She collapsed and her mother caught her before she hit the ground, and began crying uncontrollably.
She began rubbing her daughter’s hair, “It’ll be okay Kathryn, one way or another we’ll get through this.”
Kathryn looked up through haunted eyes. “You don’t know that. The baby is going to need genetic manipulation if there’s even a chance that my daughter will be okay.” She sniffled, “And her father is in the Auckland penal facility for six more months, doesn’t even know she exists.”
Gretchen’s heart broke at the pain her daughter had lived through for the past seven years. “Kathryn…we’ll do everything to make sure we try to get this child here for you and your man safe and sound.” She paused staring at her, “But the only one who was sentenced to jail time from Voyager was Commander Chakotay.”
Kathryn nodded, “The one and only.”
Gretchen whistled, “Well you do always pick the nice looking ones don’t you Kathryn?” She laughed, “Well at least we know your daughter will be a heart-breaker don’t we; especially if she gets her father’s dimples.”
Kathryn laughed, “So you noticed those too did you?”
Kathryn took a deep breath, “But mom, I’m not sure I want to subject myself or the baby to this invasive procedure.”
“Oh Kathryn,” She drew her daughter into a hug full of motherly love. “I know you’re scared, but you want this baby and I’m sure if the father knew so would he and so you have to do anything you can to help that eventuality happen.”
Kathryn nodded and moved away from her mother. “I have to go and see my former chief engineer; she’s the one who will be able to help me make this possible.” Kathryn stood up straight and shot her chin out in the normal Janeway motion of assurance.
She turned and walked out of her mother’s house; going to make her dreams a reality.
[Paris Quarters – 1100 hours]
Tom stared up from where he had just finished changing Sara’s diaper. He heard the chime ring and went to answer it.
His jaw dropped open when he saw Kathryn Janeway standing on the other side of the door. She looked unsure, she looked almost afraid. She stuttered, “Is B’Elanna home?”
Tom sighed, “She’ll be home in a few hours.” He passed the baby to Kathryn and went to the computer console typing something in.
Kathryn looked at the tiny being in her arms. The child was close to 2 years old today, he birthday was coming up. She was walking, she was a human child growing. Kathryn stood her up on the ground and ran her fingers over the tiny child’s forehead ridges. “Your mother is going to save my baby.”
The child looked up through big brown eyes and confusedly said, “Baby? Where?”
Kathryn took the child’s hand and guided it over the small swell of her belly. “In here.”
The child ran her hand over Kathryn’s belly and felt a small jab. “Did you eat the baby?”
Kathryn laughed at the precious child, “No she hasn’t grown big enough to be out of my tummy yet.”
Sarah scrunched up her face, “How did the baby get in there?”
Kathryn turned red, “I think I’ll let your dad explain that one to you.” She turned and saw Tom standing there watching the moment that the two girls were having.
“Oh great, you left me to have the birds and the bees conversation with her. She’s two!”
Kathryn laughed, “Ah the joys of fatherhood Tom.” Then her face got ashen, “Chakotay won’t get to see the beginnings of his daughter’s life. He won’t get to be here with me when she makes me sick in the morning. He won’t get to see me begin to swell up with his child.” She was getting hysterical and Tom went up to her and gave her a hug of friendship.
“Listen to me Kathryn: It will be okay. The baby will be fine and then you’ll give Chakotay a beautiful baby.”
Kathryn gripped on to Tom for dear life. “For the first time in my life I have to admit that I need friends. You and B’Elanna have to help me through this.”
Tom kissed the top of her head, “You know we will.”
[Two months Later – Janeway home]
Kathryn sat on the porch of her mother’s house, in the swinging chair, hand on her belly feeling her and Chakotay’s daughter squirming around.
She had gone through the gene therapy, her genes had been spliced with B’Elanna’s and the baby appeared to be in good shape.
The gene therapy had forced many of the dominant genes the baby had to be removed. The doctor had forced her to see the representation of what the child would look like. She had picked up the recessive genes of Kathryn’s eye color and hair color through this work of science, but she still looked human.
She was Kathryn and Chakotay’s baby.
Phoebe walked up behind her sister and stared at the picture she made. Large with the child of a man she had loved for years and who was now stuck in a penal institution, not knowing the fate of his wife.
Not even knowing she was carrying his child.
And today, today she would see him for the first time in two months. She had pulled some strings and Admiral Paris had forced them to allow her to visit her husband.
She brought her hand up to grab her sister’s hand. “Phoebe, I love the feeling of my husband’s child growing and maturing in my belly. I can’t wait for him to see me like this; he’s going to be so happy.”
Phoebe went to kneel to look Kathryn in the eyes, “And if he’s not you have us…and Tom and B’Elanna.”
Kathryn nodded, “But he will be happy. Third time’s a charm right?”
Phoebe hugged her sister, “It always is, and Janeway’s aren’t quitters.”
Kathryn nodded and got up to go and enter her life.
[Aukland Penal Colony – 1400 hours]
Owen stared at Kathryn. “You ready to meet your destiny Kathryn?”
Kathryn smiled, “I met my destiny eight years ago when I brought the maquis into the life on Voyager.”
Owen squeezed her shoulder in a motion of comfort. “It will be okay Kathryn.”
Kathryn nodded and proceeded through the doors of the penal colony. The guard that was watching stared at the two Starfleet admirals that had walked through the doors. His eyes grew wide as he stood up in respect to the two living legends. “Admiral Paris…Admiral Janeway….”
Kathryn stared at the boy. “It’s okay engsign…” She waited for him to answer. “Walters, ensign Walters sir.”
Kathryn almost laughed at the remembrance of what Harry Kim had been like all those years ago when he had met her for the first time.
“It’s okay Ensign; we have an appointment to see one of the inmates.”
The Ensign took in a deep breath, “Yes ma’am. Please proceed to the door at the end of the hall on the left.”
Owen and Kathryn nodded and after depositing their firearms, proceeded down the hall.
As the two of them got closer to the doors Kathryn’s pace slowed and she got a sudden rush of emotion. She placed her hand on her belly, and rubbed the bump. “Well Tatianna, are you ready to meet your daddy?”
Owen watched the exchange between mother and daughter-to-be. “Come on Kathryn, time to re-take your destiny.”
Kathryn nodded with tears in her eyes and stood strong to face to future with her husband hopefully by her side.
Kathryn stood with her hand before the controls that she knew would open the door where her husband was.
There was no one else there to watch him they had all been ‘shooed away’ by Admiral Paris. It was going to be just her and Chakotay.
She put in the code that they had given her and she walked in the room.
All of a sudden she realized she was wearing a plain red dress. *What was I thinking? This is the first time he’s going to see me in two months.*
It was too late for worries and Kathryn walked through the doors. She saw Chakotay sitting there. His hair had been cropped – almost shaven – close to his scalp.
His eyes bore into her and finally his mouth opened. He smiled, “Look at you.”
She smiled back, “I didn’t think of getting dressed up, sorry you’re seeing me like this.”
Chakotay laughed, “How far along are you?”
She laughed, “About five months –”
“The night we arrived in the Alpha Quadrant?”
“Probably.” She bowed her head. “I’m sorry I never told you I went off boosters. I was going to tell you, I was going to say that I wanted to give B’Elanna’s idea a try, and that maybe we could make it after all but then –”
“But then we ended up in the Alpha Quadrant and I ended up getting arrested.”
“Something like that.”
He grinned showing off the dimples that she loved so much, “Well this is the last thing I expected.”
She raised an eyebrow, “I know, but I hope you’re happy about this?”
He motioned for her to come over to him. He silently asked if it was okay for him to rest his hand on his daughter.
She nodded, tell him that it was okay. “Is Tatianna okay?”
Kathryn’s jaw dropped open, “How did you know that that’s what I wanted to name her?”
He laughed, “I just did.”
She hugged him, and he felt the baby making her presence known. “Kathryn is she going to be okay?”
Kathryn nodded, “I got help from the doctor and a DNA sample from B’Elanna, and then the doctor showed me what she would look like.” She paused, “Many of her dominant genes had to be removed to help her survive, she is going to have blue eyes and red hair.”
“Just like her mother.”
Kathryn laughed, “I hope not, I hate my hair.”
Chakotay reached up and touched Kathryn’s face. “I’ll only be here for another four months Kathryn…then we’ll start our happily ever life: I promise.”
Kathryn smiled, “I hope you make it for her birth Chakotay, I don’t want to do this alone.”
“I’ll do my best Kathryn, I’ll do my best.”
He watched his wife lose her control. “Hey, Kat; its okay: No matter what you’ll do it for yourself, for me and for little Anna.”
Kathryn nodded and looked at her husband. “I have to go now Chakotay, I’ll see you in maximum four months.”
He nodded, “It’ll be okay Kathryn. What doesn’t kill us only makes us stronger just remember that.”
Kathryn nodded at the father of her baby and left the isolation room.
She signed out and recaptured her weapon and walked ramrod straight and seemingly in confidence back to her mentor.
The moment she exited the penal colony she collapsed in a mound of tears and emotions.
Owen caught her and looked at the haunted woman in front of him. “I don’t know if I can do this alone.”
“He loves you Kathryn, and right now what you have to do is take care of the gift he left for you.”
He took her back to Bloomington where maybe Gretchen would help her through.
[2 hours later – Bloomington Indiana]
Kathryn lay in her mother’s arms as she cried away her worries. “Mom, I can’t be a mother; I wasn’t trained for this. Starfleet training does not prepare for motherhood.”
“Oh sweetie, nothing prepares you for motherhood; it’s something that you grow into and learn to do.”
She stared wide-eyed at her mother, “I’m not sure I can learn that alone.”
Gretchen stared at her, “You’re not alone Kathryn, as long as Phoebe and I are here and not to mention Tom and B’Elanna, you won’t be alone.”
Kathryn quietly nodded and felt the tumultuous tears slowing to a trickle as she quietly passed into an exhausted sleep.
[3 weeks later – Starfleet Medical]
The doctor continued his scans. “Well Admiral, everything looks like it’s progressing –” The doctor paused, staring at the scans. “Uh Admiral…”
Kathryn got scared what was wrong with her or her baby? “Doctor will Tatianna live? Is she okay?”
The doctor smiled, “Calm down Admiral, she’s just fine…she’s just going to have a twin with her?”
“Twins?”
He turned the scan to show her the picture of two babies. “I don’t want to know the sex doctor, I already know the girl; I don’t want to know the other one.”
Kathryn was stunned, “I have to tell Chakotay; but I can’t tell Chakotay. He’s not with me.”
The doctor stared at his former Captain, “It will be alright. Chakotay will come back to you.”
Kathryn finally caught her breath and stared at the doctor. “But doctor, the babies are okay right?”
The doctor nodded, “Yes Admiral. Your children are okay.”
Kathryn suddenly got a frightening thought, “We only performed the gene splicing on Tatianna, what about the other twin?”
The doctor shook his head, “You’re almost six months pregnant now; I’m not sure that we could do it on twin B.”
Kathryn’s jaw dropped open, “Twin B? You mean that child will die?”
The doctor shook his head, “I honestly don’t know Admiral, but I think that at this point, the child is too developed to change her DNA or biochemistry.”
Kathryn felt her face growing white at the revelation. “No doctor, you have to save them both. If I’m going to have two babies they’re both going to survive. I can’t do this again. I’ve laid two babies already to rest, I won’t do it again.”
The doctor stared at her, he wasn’t sure if this woman could deal with it again.
He paused and looked at her again, “I’ll do my best Admiral…but I’m not sure even I can save this baby. I’ll try my best.”
The doctor knew though that it was a losing battle. He knew that the Captain’s second daughter would not survive.
The doctor sighed and watched the Captain walk out of the room.
[Janeway house – two hours later]
Kathryn had spent the last two hours just walking. It was summer in Indiana and the nice weather was something that she had not had too much of on Voyager.
Now she was home and she was going to enjoy the nice weather whether she wanted to really or not.
Some days all she wanted to do was sit in the snow and feel the cold around her, encompassing her, making the pain turn to numbness.
When she finally made it to her mother’s house, she wasn’t sure what to say. She wasn’t sure how her mother was going to react to a child that would never survive.
She wasn’t sure how her mother was going to take the news that one of her grandchildren would not survive, she just wasn’t sure.
She opened the door to her mother’s house and walked in. Her mother was there along with her sister and her sister’s family. “Hi, mom.”
Gretchen spun around, “Owen said the two of you left Starfleet medical two hours ago, where were you?”
She stared at her family, “I was walking.”
Phoebe jumped up and ran to her sister. “You were walking? We were worried sick about you! How can you do that to us?”
“How can I do that to you? How can you try to make me feel guilty for this? This is my baby, my life, and I’m a grown woman. If I need to have some time to myself and deal with my problems on my own that’s my business.”
Kathryn spun around and left the house yet again.
As she walked out into the Indiana afternoon, she felt raindrops begin to pour down on her face.
She stared up at the rain and watched her clothes beginning to become transparent with the fall of the rain.
She laughed at the irony of her spending months trying to hide herself and now something as simple as the rain was making her open to the world.
She finally found herself standing outside the Paris home. She wasn’t sure if it was some crazy idea that maybe B’Elanna could help this baby too, or maybe it was just her need to be comforted by friends, but this was where she ended up, and these were the people that she had made her best friends.
She knocked on the door and Tom opened the door staring at his once boss and Captain. “Kathryn!”
He stared at her again as she bowed her head. “It’s not fair Tom. I finally told Chakotay, he finally got to see me in all my pregnant glory and then I go to Starfleet Medical and –”
Kathryn stopped talking and walked into the living room to sit on the couch. “It just isn’t fair.”
B’Elanna walked into the room with baby Sarah, she shook her head. “Hey Kat. You here for supper?”
Kathryn shook her head unsure. “What’s up?”
Tom shook his head begging her not to continue. She brought Sarah over to Kathryn, “What’s wrong Kathryn?”
“I saw Chakotay today and let him see me, all of me.” She paused before continuing. “And then I went to see the doctor at Starfleet Medical.” She paused again and looked up at B’Elanna through tear soaked eyes.
“I thought the baby was okay.”
Kathryn shook her head at Torres’ ignorance of the situation, “One is.”
B’Elanna’s eyes got wide. “I beg your pardon.”
Kathryn almost laughed at B’Elanna’s reaction. “There’s twins in there.”
Tom stared at her surprised. “Well that explains why you’ve gained so much weight.”
Kathryn nodded, “It’s wet outside. Does B’Elanna have any maternity clothes left over from Sarah that maybe I could change into?”
B’Elanna nodded and scurried upstairs after handing the toddler to Tom.
Tom turned to Kathryn, “Okay so what’s the problem?”
Kathryn drew in a deep breath, “I’m not sure that the second twin – ‘Twin B’ as the doctor refers to it – is going to survive.”
“Oh Kat, I’m sorry.” He went up to her and hugged her. “You’re here to see if B’Elanna will donate again?”
Kathryn nodded silently. “I’m sure she will, you just have to ask her.”
Kathryn stared at Tom. “I can’t keep asking favors of people, I’m the one who is supposed to help everyone else.”
Tom looked at the broken woman. “That’s your problem Kat, sometimes you just have to learn to ask for help.”
B’Elanna came down the stairs with a blue dress in her hands. “This is the best I could do Kat.”
“And I’m sure it’ll be fine. S Tom turned to Kathryn, “Okay so what’s the problem?”
Kathryn drew in a deep breath, “I’m not sure that the second twin – ‘Twin B’ as the doctor refers to it – is going to survive.”
“Oh Kat, I’m sorry.” He went up to her and hugged her. “You’re here to see if B’Elanna will donate again?”
Kathryn nodded silently. “I’m sure she will, you just have to ask her.”
At that moment B’Elanna breezed down the stairs dress in hand. It was dark blue and she watched B’Elanna hand it to her. “Sorry Kat, it’s the best I could do.”
“I’m sure it’ll be fine B’Elanna, thanks.” She took the dress and went to the bathroom to change her clothes.*
B’Elanna reached out her hands for Sarah. Tom passed the baby to his wife. “B’Elanna, that second baby is not going to survive. The procedure that was done was simply done on Baby A.”
B’Elanna’s jaw dropped open, “Then I’ll donate again and we’ll fix the other one.”
Tom shook his head, “I’m not sure it’ll work B’Elanna; I hope and pray that it does, but I’m not sure it will.”
B’Elanna felt the tears beginning to escape her eyes. “How can the world be so cruel? She did everything she could to help the crew and now she’s going to die; partially because of us.”
Tom shook his head, “It’s not because of us B’E.”
“If we had never rescued them from that planet they would have lived a happy life together –”
“Alone –”
“Alone but together!”
Kathryn walked out of the bathroom in the dark blue dress that B’Elanna had given to her. “Kat, why didn’t you tell us?”
Kathryn pressed her lips in a tight line, “I only just found out myself today. I can’t tell you what I don’t know myself.”
B’Elanna walked up to Kathryn. “We’ll try our best to save this baby Kathryn, you’ve done too much for us over the years.”
“B’Elanna it’s not that easy. Ask your husband for god’s sake, he basically has the equivalent of a medical degree after everything that happened in the Delta Quadrant.”
Kathryn went to leave the house, “Don’t do this Kat. Don’t walk away from the only possible chance this baby has.”
“I don’t have a choice B’Elanna.”
Tom walked up to her, “Then do what you do best and walk away.”
Kathryn was livid, “How dare you talk to me like that? I’m an Admiral.”
“That’s it Kat, use the rank when you have nothing else.”
Tom went to the back of the room and pulled out a hypo. He injected B’Elanna and got the information that she needed. He handed it to Kathryn, “Here give that baby a chance.”
Kathryn ripped the hypo out of Tom’s hands and left the house.
Tom stared at B’Elanna, “Do you think she’ll do it?”
“I don’t know B’Elanna, but I hope so.”
[Starfleet Medical]
“Computer initiate the EMH.”
“Please state the –“ He stared at Kathryn, “Admiral.”
Kathryn pulled the hypo out of her pocket. “Here, this is the sample of B’Elanna’s DNA that might be able to help me out.”
The doctor took the hypo and stared at Kathryn. “Admiral, this will take a while for me to fix the mixture for the inoculation.”
Kathryn nodded, and put her hand on her abdomen. “So it’s possible that the second baby will be okay?”
The doctor sighed, “It’s possible, but I’m not holding my hopes up. Baby A is doing well, and she will probably make it, but I don’t know about baby B”
Kathryn stared at the doctor, “What do you mean that Baby A will probably make it?”
He patted the Admiral on the shoulder and stated, “It’s never a for sure thing... no matter what.”
“So you don’t perceive any problems at this time?”
The doctor shook his head, “Not anything at this time; but I need to point at that that is at this time.”
The Admiral nodded and walked out of Starfleet Medical.
[Janeway Home]
Kathryn walked into her mother’s home. It was late and Phoebe and clan were long gone Gretchen had fallen asleep on the living room couch and looked like an angel and Kathryn was remiss in waking her.
She tiptoed past her mother and went to walk up the stairs when a voice behind her called out. “Finally home I see.”
Kathryn blushed under her mother’s scrutiny. “I’m sorry mom, I had to take care of some stuff.”
“Don’t you always. You’re just like your father.”
Gretchen stared at her eldest daughter. “Okay so you left in a huff, what was that all about?”
“It doesn’t matter I took care of it.”\
Gretchen sat up, “It does matter Kathryn; it always mattered. Stop being the martyr.”
Kathryn glared at her mother. “Doesn’t work Katie, I have the same stare.”
Kathryn opened her mouth to respond but closed it again. “The doctor is working on a cure that will hopefully help baby B. Before today I didn’t even know there was a baby B.”
“You have to tell Chakotay.”
Kathryn was angry “Well I would if I could mom, but if you recall he’s in jail.”
“That’s why Phoebe was over here, we have news for you. Owen pulled some more strings and it seems that he will be released tomorrow on his own recognizance.”
Kathryn shook her head, “What?!”
“You husband is coming back to you.”
Kathryn stared at her mother, “If you’re lying I will kill you.”
“I’m not lying Kathryn; he’s coming home.”
Kathryn rushed up and gave her mother a warm hug. “Thank you for everything, and tomorrow you can come house hunting with Chakotay and I.”
Her mother stared at her. “Of course. We need a home for those two.”
Kathryn nodded and felt like her life was finally beginning to go in the right direction.
[Paris house – Next morning]
It was 0800 and Kathryn knew she shouldn’t be bothering them at this hour, but Kathryn had to speak to someone, she had to tell her news.
Tom came to the door looking like he had just woken up. “Hey Kat, what’s up?”
Kathryn was excited, “Tom Chakotay’s being released today, I have to go and pick him up in a couple of hours. Can the two of your organize a welcome home party for him?”
“You expect me to do this in two hours?”
“Oh come on Tom, I know you can.”
He looked at her, “Only for you and the big man.”
Kathryn grinned, “Thanks Tom.” She walked out of the house and on her way home to get ready for her reunion with her love.
[Janeway house]
Kathryn got as far as the outside of her mother’s house when her communicator went off and the doctor paged her. “Admiral; please come to Starfleet Medical immediately.”
Kathryn responded, “I have to go and see Chakotay, he’s being released in an hour.”
The doctor responded. “I understand that Admiral, but I really need to see you; I think I’ve found a way to save your baby.”
Kathryn was torn, between her husband and her child. “Can it wait until after I’ve gotten Chakotay and then we can both come and listen to your response?”
The doctor sighed, “As long as it’s not too long, I need to try and implement this as quickly as possible.”
Kathryn stared at her mother’s house, longing to be able to save everyone as she always did.
“I need my husband. I need you to see if this an wait two hours, I promise, I’ll be there by noon to take care of baby B”
He nodded, “Yes Admiral.”
Kathryn nodded and then left the room.
[Penal Colony – Auckland New Zealand]
Kathryn stared at Owen. “I’m not sure I’m ready for this; I don’t know if I can do this.”
Owen looked into her blue eyes, “Katie, he accepted one baby, he’ll accept two. I have no doubts about that. Now go and tell that husband of yours that he’s going to be a father x2.”
Kathryn nodded and left the hovercar. She held her head up straight and made her way to the gates of the penal colony.
She stood there for a good ten minutes, as if staring at the gates would make it easier.
She was about to tell her husband that she was pregnant with two babies, and if she didn’t have the surgery to integrate B’Elanna’s genetic material that baby might not survive.
If she did go through with the surgery there was a chance that baby A would have to be delivered early and possibly die because it was too early and then baby B would die as well.
Kathryn drew in a deep breath and entered the penal colony. She saw the Ensign that she had seen once before. “Hello ensign.”
The ensign stared at her. “Admiral.”
Kathryn nodded, “Is he ready to go?”
The ensign nodded. “He’s just behind that door.”
Kathryn stared at the door and knew it was the door to her destiny.
She finally walked through the door feeling as if she was walking into the light. Bringing her life to completion; and hopefully bringing her husband back to her.
The door opened and Chakotay came rushing up, meeting her in a hug of joy. “God Kathryn, you’ve grown.”
Kathryn stared at Chakotay as she pulled back. “I have to talk to you.”
Chakotay looked at her, fear in his eyes. “Is there something wrong with you? With the baby?”
Kathryn laughed ironically, “Perhaps with one of them.”
Chakotay stared at her shocked, “One of them? How many are there?”
Kathryn drew in a deep breath, “Two.”
“Twins? A week ago I find out that you’re pregnant; and now you’re telling me it’s times two?”
She had tears in her eyes, “Yes, but if we do it right we can have everything.”
Chakotay shook her head as if hearing it for the first time. “What do you mean if we do this right?” He approached her and put his hands on her belly.
“If we do this right. If we go and get the doctor to perform the surgery and the genetic manipulation works, then baby B should be okay.”
“And…”
“And if the surgery goes incorrectly it could throw me into pre-term labour and baby A will be in danger as well.”
Chakotay stared at his wife as he watched the tears pour down her face, “Hey if all we get out of this is one happy, healthy little girl: It’s still more than we thought we were going to have.”
Kathryn nodded, “Well then we’d better go and see the doctor and hope he can perform a miracle for us: I want it all.”
Chakotay nodded; as he was walking with his wife out of the penal colony he pressed his thumb to the padd, making his stay in the penal colony permanently finished.
Kathryn walked with Chakotay to the hover car. They entered the car, and Chakotay felt as if his life was finally beginning.
Kathryn stared at Owen. “We have to make this work Owen, I want everything.”
Owen grabbed her hand with his. “The doctor will do everything he can Kathryn, and once in a while, you have to just pray for the miracle.”
“I spent seven years sitting on a miracle and praying for one, it comes and I’m afraid that I don’t have the right to ask for another one.” She paused taking in a deep breath, “Especially such a selfish miracle.”
Owen stared at his protégée, “Maybe this is something that you should be discussing with your husband, not with me.”
Kathryn nodded and turned around to the backseat where Chakotay was sitting. “We need to talk about this. We’re about to make a huge decision, and we have to know what we are going to do about these children.”
Chakotay silently nodded, “Let’s see what the doctor has to say first.”
Kathryn nodded and felt the tears welling in her eyes again, “I have not cried so much in years Chakotay.”
He laughed, “Hormones.”
[1 hour later – Starfleet Medical]
Kathryn stood next to Chakotay hand in hand. They had yet to walk into the building, Kathryn turned to Chakotay, “For the first time in all these years Chakotay, I don’t know what to do.”
He held her close, “Neither do I Kathryn, neither do I.”
They gathered up their strength and walked through the doors. Chakotay and Kathryn walked up to the turbolift. “The doctor is on the fifth floor right Kathryn?”
Kathryn solemnly nodded, “I’m sorry I can’t give you everything Chakotay.”
He stared at her confused, “Kathryn, no matter what anything you give me, it’s enough.”
She nodded and took his hand once more as the turbolift stopped and they walked into the area where the doctor’s office was situated.
The doctor walked out of his office, “Admiral!”
“I told you I’d come back doctor.”
The doctor nodded, “I never doubted you.”
Kathryn stared at him, “Okay let’s talk about the twins.”
Four hours later Kathryn and Chakotay left Starfleet Medical with more information than they cared to have.
The doctor had told them that at this point, Baby A had over a 99% chance of survival. Baby B, close to 0%.
If they went ahead with the surgery, and implanted the DNA into the second baby it increased that child’s survival to about 50% which wasn’t great but which was better than now, but there was a 30% chance that the surgery and the incision in Kathryn’s amniotic sac would cause pre-term labour.
“So those are the options Chakotay. What do we do?”
Chakotay smiled, “We go home and talk and think.”
“Okay, let’s go then.” She turned to the doctor, “Thank you doctor for all the information, hopefully it’ll help us make the decision.”
The doctor nodded, “Thank you for coming back as quickly as you said you were going to.”
The couple left the office and proceeded home.
[Janeway home – 15 minutes later]
Kathryn and Chakotay walked into their home and Kathryn broke down. “I need to go for a walk.”
Chakotay stared at her incredulous, “This won’t go away Kathryn, you can’t ignore it and hope it makes itself better.”
She glared at him, “I need to go. I promise I’ll be back and we can talk this out. I need to do some thinking on my own.”
Chakotay’s jaw dropped open, “You’ve been on your own for nearly four months: I need you.”
“I have to go Chakotay.”
Chakotay shook his head. “I love you, but if you want to just try to do this on your own again, fine.”
Kathryn had tears in her eyes as she walked out the door, she walked along the banks of the river near the house in San Francisco that she had purchased for their family. She slowly made her way a little out wading in the soft currents, letting her problems momentarily disappear.
After an hour of trying to wash away her problems, she realized she ended up outside the house of B’Elanna and Tom.
Her hand reached up to knock without even realizing it.
B’Elanna answered the door and saw the mascara streaked down Kathryn’s face, “What happened?”
Kathryn shook her head and was led into the Paris living room. B’Elanna called out to Tom, “Tom, can I go out for a coffee with Kathryn for a couple of hours? We need to talk.”
Tom called down the stairs, “Sara just fell asleep and I’m capable of taking care of a two year old so sure, go ahead.”
B’Elanna turned back to Kathryn, “Now let’s go to the coffee shop in the main square, sit at a private booth and talk.”
Kathryn nodded, she had still yet to udder a word to B’Elanna but she knew there was something terribly wrong with her former Captain.
The two women walked along the streets of San Francisco. Kathryn refused to open up to B’Elanna just yet. They arrived at the coffee house and sat at a table at the back, as secluded as possible. B’Elanna stared at Kathryn across the table, and that’s when the dam broke.
B’Elanna had never seen Kathryn Janeway lose her cool, but it was at this point that she realized how truly human she was.
She reached across the table taking Kathryn’s hand. “Kat, whatever it is, you can tell me.”
Kathryn sniffled and wiped her nose on her sleeve, “I just don’t know what to do.”
Kathryn looked at B’Elanna, hoping for understanding, “How much did Tom tell you?”
B’Elanna was dumfounded, “About what?”
“About my babies.”
B’Elanna felt her heart sinking, “He didn’t tell me anything, he would never betray your confidence if he did know something.” She paused, “I obviously knew what needed to be done with the second genetic sample, I gave it to you; but aside from that I don’t know anything.”
Kathryn drew in a deep breath and began her story, “If we proceed with the surgery, the chances for baby A who is now healthy decreases substantially. If we do nothing that one survives but the second twin has almost no chance of survival.”
B’Elanna looked at her, sympathy showing in her expressive dark eyes, “I’m so sorry Kathryn; so what are you and Chakotay going to do?”
“I just don’t know B’Elanna.”
Kathryn looked around and saw reporters were starting to swarm. Anything for the latest updates on the Delta Darling and her Maquis husband apparently. “B’Elanna, can we continue this conversation somewhere else?” She pointed to the news mongers.
B’Elanna stared at the people doing anything they could to invade this poor woman’s privacy and silently nodded.
Kathryn and B’Elanna felt the presence of the newsworthy as they proceeded down the well-lit streets of San Francisco. “We need to disappear.”
Kathryn smiled and pulled out a site to site transporter, “There are some advantages to being an Admiral.”
B’Elanna nodded and they walked towards her quarters at Starfleet Headquarters.
[Janeway Home]
Kathryn said her goodbyes to B’Elanna and entered her home.
Chakotay was sitting on the couch waiting for Kathryn to enter. “Kathryn, what the hell is going on?”
Kathryn stared at the angry face of her husband, “What are you talking about?”
Chakotay replayed the images that were being sent across the Federation newscast. “Admiral Kathryn Janeway - now as seen six months pregnant with twins – has made it public to her friend that the children are unwanted and she refuses to seek the medical care that they need to make it to term…”
And it went on. Kathryn’s eyes went wide with understanding. “That’s not true Chakotay; we tried –”
“How can you say it’s not true Kathryn? There are videos of you and B’Elanna, and you’re stating that you aren’t sure if you want the baby or not.”
Kathryn sighed, “That’s taken out of context Chakotay. What I said was –”
Chakotay stared at her, “I don’t want to hear it Kathryn. I am so angry right now, I need to get out of this house before I do or say something that I’m going to regret.”
Kathryn watched her husband walk out of the house, and the misunderstanding and a talk with her friend had possibly changed her life, for better or for worse she wasn’t sure.
[Janeway Home – Bloomington Indiana]
Kathryn walked up to her mother’s house. She stared in the window and saw Gretchen speaking with Phoebe.
She raised her hand to knock on the door. She paused, and stared at the door. She needed to talk to someone that wasn’t partial to what was going on.
Finally she got up the nerve to knock and Phoebe answered. “Kathryn, what is going on with you?”
Kathryn felt tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m not sure, but whatever you hear on the Federation News channels is totally not the full story.”
Her mother approached her, “We hear stories of you wanting an abortion; we see pictures of your husband rushing out of the house, looking a little pissed off might I add.” Gretchen paused and stared at her daughter, “So what is going on?”
That’s when Kathryn broke down. She let the tears fall and her mother did not know what else to do, so she hugged her child.
Finally the crying ended and Kathryn sniffled and stared at her mother, “I just went out for a coffee with B’Elanna, and the news came upon us, and heard us speaking about what to do with baby B.”
“What do you mean what to do with Baby B?” Phoebe interjected.
Kathryn realized that she had yet to tell her sister that there were indeed twins in there. “I’m pregnant with twins. The procedure we did to save the single baby I thought I was carrying, did not apply to the second twin. Now I’m stuck with the decision of whether to keep one baby healthy and give up on the second or to try and save the second baby but put the first in danger.” She was hysterical at this point. Kathryn stared at her sister, “How the hell do you make a decision like that? And on top of it all my husband, he believe the Federation News and left me.”
Her mother went to approach Kathryn, “You have to figure this out Kathryn, and Chakotay has to figure it out with you.”
Kathryn stared at her mother, “You don’t understand; he left me. He’s made up his own mind and he’s decided what is going on without listening to me.”
Gretchen stared her daughter in the eyes, “You have to make this work. For your sake and the sake of your children.”
Kathryn left the house with many things to think about.
She walked through the grounds of Starfleet headquarters. It was getting dark, and she knew it would time for her to go home soon. She hoped that Chakotay had cooled off and come home.
She needed to speak with her husband about what they were going to do.
The one thing she had realized was that this was a decision that they had to make together.
[Chakotay quarters – Starfleet Headquarters]
Chakotay stared at the machine at his terminal. He watched Kathryn and B’Elanna running away from coffee shop where they had been having a late night drink.
He heard the news reporters saying that Admiral Janeway’s next stop was Starfleet Medical, and then after that they had lost the scent and lost the story.
Chakotay knew what she was doing.
She had aborted their second baby without so much as asking him.
[Kathryn Janeway’s House – Same time]
Kathryn sat on the couch and waited. Hopefully Chakotay would come home and they could talk.
She had messaged Tom and B’Elanna and they hadn’t seen him and they were worried too.
B’Elanna had been busy with little Sarah and had not been able to speak for very long.
She had wished Kathryn luck and said she had to go for now.
Finally Kathryn had curled up on the couch, and waited; hoping for sleep to find her.
[Janeway Home – Bloomington Indiana]
Gretchen stared at the news stories all over the news about her daughter.
She knew the real story behind all the rumours; and at the moment that’s all they were ‘rumours’.
She had messaged headquarters to ask if Owen had heard anything he had said no, but his hands had been full with his son, daughter-in-law, and the baby.
His son had come home to him with a ready-made family.
Gretchen sighed, she had to find out what was going on with her daughter and ‘son’.
She got dressed and made her way to Starfleet headquarters. Someone had to know what was ‘really up’ with her daughter.
[Janeway Home – Starfleet Headquarters]
Kathryn stared down at her belly, she felt the babies moving. She had to make the decision, she had to decide what she wanted to do with the second baby.
It had been so long, they had tried and she was sure that their marriage was solid.
She had thought, but she guessed she didn’t know Chakotay as well as she thought she did. She had been sure that his jealous ‘Maquis side’ had been tamed.
Did her really think that she could get rid of their baby without talking to him?
She shook her head. One way or another she had to sort this out.
[Janeway Home – Bloomington Indiana – 0800 Hours]
Gretchen stared at the news stories, this had been going on all night. She had to get to the bottom of this and find her daughter and ‘son’.
She got dressed and made her way to Starfleet Headquarters. Owen would have answers for her whether he wanted to give them to her or not.
She would force it out of him.
They had been seeing each other for the past two years, and she knew what it was like to be with a Starfleet Admiral, all the secrecy, all the late night meetings.
She was going to get it out of him whether he liked it or not. Starfleet had taken one husband and almost killed her daughter, she was not going to let it happen again.
[Chakotay’s Quarters – Starfleet Headquarters – 0800]
Chakotay woke up and placed his hand to his right, feeling for his wife; but she was gone.
She had aborted his daughter or son.
He felt the tears streaming down his face.
He thought he knew Kathryn, but apparently not.
[Starfleet Headquarters – Owen Paris’ office]
Admiral Paris raised his head as his assistant tried to stop Gretchen from entering his office. Finally the tiny woman gave up when Owen bowed his acquiescence. “Gretchen, nice to see you.”
“Where is my daughter? And what the hell is up with this news feed?”
Owen motioned for his secretary to close the door; he needed privacy.
“Okay Gretchen, what is the problem?”
Gretchen looked at her incredulous, “What do you mean what’s the problem? Have you looked at the newsfeed? Kathryn is being slandered. I demand you take care of this.”
Owen raised an eyebrow, “You demand? I’m a Starfleet Adrmiral.”
Gretchen laughed, “Do I look like I’m wearing one of your uniforms?”
Owen let his head drop, “Gretchen, Katie will be fine: She’s resilient.”
“That doesn’t mean that they have the right to talk about her that way. She’s going through enough as it is.”
Owen sighed, “I understand Gretchen but she’s a big girl and she’s married; Chakotay can take care of her.”
Gretchen’s eyes glared at him, “He won’t talk to her at the moment: I’m all she has, but I hate to see her like this and I have to find her.”
“Did you look at her house?”
Gretchen nodded, “She’s not there, and I need her back.”
Owen nodded, “I felt the same way when Tom disappeared, but he came back and so did Kathryn; and she’ll come back this time.”
Gretchen pressed her lips in a tight line, “I hope so Owen. And remember if she doesn’t it’s your fault.”
[Starfleet Gardens – 1000 am]
Kathryn had been walking the gardens for hours. Or it felt like hours.
She placed a hand on her abdomen and felt the babies squirm. She had to save them she had to.
She heard a voice over the noise of the lake waters.
She looked up and saw Chakotay calling her from the third floor of the Starfleet living quarters.
She squinted against the sun, and began walking towards the building.
[Chakotay’s Quarters – 30 minutes previous]
Chakotay watched the sun beginning to rise. Well it had already risen but it was getting higher and higher, it was going to be a beautiful day.
He sat there staring at the people walking around the Starfleet gardens. He saw a couple running after their two kids and all he could think was that if Kathryn was a little more giving that could be them in three months.
He turned and stared at the red hair of a woman walking near the small river. Her hair was like fire and all he could think was how much that woman looked like Kathryn.
She turned and he realized she was pregnant.
He stared at the woman, it was Kathryn.
He took a deep breath and called out to her, hoping it was the woman that he thought it was.
The lady slowly turned around and stared up trying to see who was calling her.
It was Kathryn, “Kathryn!”
She squinted against the sun and began slowly walking towards the Starfleet building.
He smiled, maybe they could talk this out.
[Owen’s Office – 1200 hours]
Gretchen stared at her boyfriend. “We’ve been watching this news for two hours. When are we going to do something?”
There was a beep and Paris answered his assistant. “Yes Tara, what is it?”
“There’s a ‘Chakotay’ for you on line 6. Would you like to take the call?”
Gretchen’s eyes were pleading for him to answer the call. Maybe they would finally get some answers, “Yes Tara, put him through.”
Chakotay’s face appeared on the screen. “Admiral.”
“Commander, do you know where Kathryn is?”
Chakotay smiled, “She’s here with me.”
Gretchen rushed over to the screen, “Is my daughter okay? Are you okay? We haven’t heard from either of you since this stupid news story came to light.”
Kathryn face appeared, “I know mom. I’m okay, and I think everything’s going to be okay.”
Gretchen nodded and looked at Owen as the screen went blank. “Well how much longer until your shift is over?” He felt her hands going down his chest.
“Well,” he bowed his head down and his lips met hers. “Not too long. I’ve been here since 0500, so I can take lunch soon.
Gretchen grinned and gave him a crooked half-smile. “I think we can do something besides have lunch.”
[Chakotay’s Quarters – Starfleet Headquarters]
Kathryn stared at Chakotay. “Now what do we do? I really want both of these babies, not just Tatianna; before we get to anything though there is something I want to know.”
Chakotay nodded, “What is it?”
She glared at him, “How could you think that I would make any decisions about our children without talking to you first?”
Chakotay stared at her, seeing the truth in her eyes. “I suppose not, but I was afraid. The news said…”
Kathryn glared at him, “And you take the word of a newscast over me.” She paused staring at him. “Do you actually think – you know me – after everything that I’d make a decision like that without you?”
Kathryn turned pink at the implication and stared at his very pregnant wife; he shook his head. “I’m sorry Kathryn. Let’s go home and make the decision ‘together’.”
Kathryn nodded and took her husband’s hand. Squeezing it gently, she looked at him and smiled. “We’ll get through this Chakotay and so will Anna and Kay.”
He stared at her, “Kay?”
She laughed softly, “That’s our other daughter.”
Chakotay laughed, “You already have the other baby named huh? You don’t even know if either baby is a girl.”
She grinned, “I just know.”
Chakotay led his wife out of his Starfleet apartment for hopefully the last time. They were going home to their house, where their children would grow up.
1
They walked out of the Starfleet Housing, and were met by the 24th century version of the paparazzi. “Admiral Janeway; is it true that you are going to perform a 3rd trimester abortion of the twins?”
Another woman approached the couple and talked quickly, “Is it true that you are willing to sacrifice one of your children for the other?”
Kathryn’s hand on her husband’s tightened. She brought her face up to his and whispered, “We have to get out of here.”
Chakotay nodded but said nothing. He slowly pushed his way through the group of reporters.
He pulled Kathryn with him and they pushed their way through the group of reporters and paparazzi.
Kathryn stared at her husband then slowly lifted her hand to the controls and punched in coordinates then a command code erasing their destination from prying eyes. She stared at Chakotay as they disappeared. “There are some advantages to being ‘Admiral Janeway’.”
Chakotay stared into her eyes and watched San Francisco disappear.
[Lake George – 2 minutes later]
Chakotay had been staring around the surroundings. They looked familiar. Then it came to him. “Lake George?”
Kathryn nodded, “I don’t think too many people will look for us here, at least I hope not.”
Chakotay pulled her to him and brushed a kiss along her brow. “I think we’ll be safe for a bit.”
She pulled him into a small cottage near the lake. “I love you Kathryn.”
She smiled and pulled his hand down to her belly, “We all do.”
Epilogue
Kathryn stared at the twins as they ran up and down the beach in front of their family home at Lake George.
She smiled at her husband as he played with the beautiful twins. She motioned for her husband to come over and sit near her.
Kathryn had left Starfleet not long after her paparazzi experience three years ago.
She had made Tom and B’Elanna the godparents after the twins were born. Anna and Kay were the apple of almost everyone’s eye.
Chakotay approached his wife. “Is this the life you pictured Kat?”
She smiled, “Maybe not this good, and maybe with a little boy too; but life is good.”
Chakotay watched his wife as he hands played up and down her belly. He quizzically looked at her, “You think we might still have a son?”
She laughed, “Maybe in about seven months.”
Chakotay picked her up and threw her in the air. “A baby?”
Kathryn nodded, and hugged Chakotay. “And maybe this time you’ll get your son.”
THE END